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Personality Disorder Message Board


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Wow, where to start? First of all, childhood wasn't the best. Out of a bunch of fathers, I would have to put up with a lot of verbal and some physical abuse. Not really drugs so much as I know of, I know my mom drank a lot though. We moved around quite a lot, I could never stay in one school. I know some social development was being destroyed here. I always had to make new friends, and I was always a shy kid to begin with, so then I eventually just kindof stopped and kept to myself. To build upon this, I was an easy target to pick on now because I wouldn't really stand up for myself. It happened quite often too. So now my self-confidence was shot. I had the feeling that I didn't belong anywhere and I needed to hide. Then eventually as adolesence came, so did the acne. This was really a big blow to me, especially now. Not only has this caused Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Avoidance Personality Disorder (social anxiety/antisocial personality?), but I think now I would be classified as clinically depressed for the time being. This was probably majorly due to a recent discovery of the rx abuse of my parents. I guess I was too ignorant to differenciate the difference between being somebody being really tired, to just being stoned every single day. Like, to the point of being hardly concious some days... and walking around like zombies... Even worse, I recently had a confrontation with pretty much my best friend because I lie all the time, like pathalogically. Usually I don't think much about it either. It's usually about stupid ****. And I think it's because I'm apathetic towards a lot of things now. To add to the social trouble, I think smoking weed has given me communication problems. (either that or it just got worse because one of the things above). Basically my speech is really quite now. I kinda **** my words together and it almost feels like I don't/can't open my mouth fully to properly pronunciate words. It's horrible. Oddly enough, I have a much easier time dealing with conversation on the phone that face to face, and 10x better if it's just online....

Ok, so now what? Who should I see? Should I be taken something? What will help?





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