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Personality Disorder Message Board


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Bpd??
Jun 1, 2004
I'm 19 years old. I've suffered from depression for a few years now. I've never been diagnosed with any disorder. My sophomore year of high school, a psychiatrist told me he thought I was bi-polar. I never got to return to, or start anew, therapy because I was subject to my mother's whims, and it just didn't fit into her schedule. Since then, I've done much research. From what I've read, and what some people have told me, I'm a "classic borderline case." There is no stability in my life. My relationships are broken, and always turbulent. I can be totally content with my friendship with someone for some time, and then things go haywire. I start looking for things to argue about, I start pushing people out forcibly. At times I feel like I just don't care anymore. This can last for days, weeks, months...and then I find myself at a point trying to do anything to bring them back. I feel as if I can't live without them in my life, but then that I'll go crazy if they're there. It's a constant battle that keeps happening. I'm tired of doing it, but I can't stop. One day they're not going to take me back. I don't know how to explain to them the way I'm feeling, or if it would make any difference.

I'm to the point where I have to get help before I lose it altogether, but I don't know how. A few weeks ago, I was kicked out of my parents' house. A week later, I lost my job. I'm currently seeking employment, but I don't know if I can make it until I get back on my feet. I'm willing to listen to any advice that anyone has to give.





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