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Personality Disorder Message Board


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Hi,

I've just come out from a mental health unit where i was voluntarily admitted for a week following months of struggling as an outpatient and getting next to no help.

i was diagnosed with post-natal depression in sept last year, and put on efexor 75mg. this was upped to 150mg then 225mg in january.

since march 05 i have been getting intermittent 'highs' as well as low and anxious periods. there is no warning about any change in mood and i have no control over them. i can switch from level to high or level to low in a matter of hours.

latest psych reckons it is BPD but they wont rule out bipolar. i have also had OCD was 17 years.

i have googled BPD and bipolar and cant work out which if any i am.

BPD doesnt seem to include 'highs' and there seems to be a lot more anger than i have. bipolar seems too intense for me - i def have all the depression and anxiety symptoms - suicidal feelings, worthlessness, self-loathing, lack of motivation, feeling others are against me but being nice to my face, irrationality, self-harm, feeling totally empty like there is a black pit inside me, wanting to hide from the world, struggling to leave the house, etc.

when high, i dont experience any psychosis, delusions, etc. just hypomania or maybe cyclothymia - high points are characterised by feeling euphoric and elated, unable to sit still, form plans to change career/set up new business/arrange wedding/set up smallholding complete with chickens ducks pugs and a goat/etc. i talk faster, gesticulate more, feel quite 'drunk' or like i have taken cocaine, feel unstoppable and indefatigable, multi-task like nobody's business, and so on.

i am a bit at sea as to what is wrong, and how to treat it. during my admission to hosp they reduced my meds back down to 75mg efexor daily so i am dealing with withdrawal symptoms too. i have been waiting for psychology counselling for nearly a year (NHS waiting list is 12 months) and have nbo idea what meds if any they intend to try on me next.

sorry this is long and rambling - i suppose i am posting to ask what peoples experiences are and whether anyone can relate to what i am saying. any advice or info would be great.

thanks

mm x





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