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is this bpd??

Hello everyone, I am a 19 year old male, and ive been doing a little research online, just trying to find out what is wrong with me really. To anyone that takes the time to read this and give your input, i greatly appreciate...
So basically i feel like ive just lost my f*ing mind in the past two years, and i really have no idea why. My main problem is relationships with people, wheter it be intimate with females, or just in general with anyone really. its just like, i feel so uncomfortable around people and i cant relate to them. I almost feel like i have no personality sometimes, or i dont know what to say and i just end up acting really sketch around most people i meet. I only have a few friends obviously because of this.
Not to sound arogant, but i consider myself to be a pretty decent looking guy, but it seems like every girl i meet, i end up scaring them off and i always end up getting hurt. And if i think i feel the girl pulling away at any point, i become so obsessive to the point where they just end up hating me . Im way too emotional when in comes to relationships too,like a little girl haha seriously.

Uhh what else, I think way too much. I mean like over analyzing everything that happens to me and everything people say to me. Btw, ive been on several SSRI meds, and they dont do **** for me, sometimes i feel they made me worse.

Anyway, i know i should see a psych but i really cant afford it right now. So any docs or anyone with adivce id love to hear it. Thx.

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