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I have been diagnosed recently with bpd. Like most other people with bpd, I have problems keeping friends, and often find myself accidentally pushing them away, and don't have the strength to tell them exactly what's going on, because I'm afraid they won't understand. Plus, when I do start telling them, I'm so ashamed that I become angry with them, because I don't want them to tell anyone else. I so afraid that they're going to talk about me.

My biggest problem lately though, is my mood swings. I've been so anxiety-strung that I've been pacing until my feet hurt so bad I can't stand. I'm so bouncy and can't hold still for even a second without doing something with my hands or something. Then the next second, I just go silent, and fall into a deep dark depression, where no one can reach me.

I've severely frightened some people lately because we'll be talking about something, and I'll be just fine....then the next second I'm either depressed (about to burst into tears), or I'm yelling at them or thinking thoughts of hurting them....or myself (more of the latter).

Then they leave, hurt, not sure exactly what they did wrong to upset me. The truth is they did nothing wrong.....I'm just so ****ed up. It's so sad and hard to have this problem. All I want to do is be better....whatever it takes...I'm tired of losing good friendships because they are afraid they'll hurt me more, and I might do the unthinkable....

Any advice on controlling these severe emotions? Or maybe how to tell when the switches are coming? Please help me!!!
[QUOTE=DarkAngel28]I have been diagnosed recently with bpd. Like most other people with bpd, I have problems keeping friends, and often find myself accidentally pushing them away, and don't have the strength to tell them exactly what's going on, because I'm afraid they won't understand. Plus, when I do start telling them, I'm so ashamed that I become angry with them, because I don't want them to tell anyone else. I so afraid that they're going to talk about me.

My biggest problem lately though, is my mood swings. I've been so anxiety-strung that I've been pacing until my feet hurt so bad I can't stand. I'm so bouncy and can't hold still for even a second without doing something with my hands or something. Then the next second, I just go silent, and fall into a deep dark depression, where no one can reach me.

I've severely frightened some people lately because we'll be talking about something, and I'll be just fine....then the next second I'm either depressed (about to burst into tears), or I'm yelling at them or thinking thoughts of hurting them....or myself (more of the latter).

Then they leave, hurt, not sure exactly what they did wrong to upset me. The truth is they did nothing wrong.....I'm just so ****ed up. It's so sad and hard to have this problem. All I want to do is be better....whatever it takes...I'm tired of losing good friendships because they are afraid they'll hurt me more, and I might do the unthinkable....

Any advice on controlling these severe emotions? Or maybe how to tell when the switches are coming? Please help me!!![/QUOTE]

Good Morning,
Whenever my moods are unstable I keep a daily journal. It was suggested to keep an hourly log of what I am doing, who I am talking to, what I am thinking
reading,watching-if I have the T.V. on and listening to if I have the radio on. Also to write down the feelings if any that each of these things are bringing up in me.This way I can go back to see what may have triggered the mood change. It sounds like a lot of work, especially when not feeling well, but if you can push yourself to try this you might get insight into how you can better control your moods. Also, you may discover what the "before signs" are that trigger your mood changes. Sometimes, it's the disorder itself and medicine is needed to even out the chemical imbalance. The chemical imbalance is very real and if not medically treated properly the mood swings will happen nomatter what other therapy and techniques used to help control them. We are complicated people and have to pay attention to the WHOLE person-Body, Mind and Spirit. If we pay attention to just one or two of the whole it's not going to work as well. It's like baking an apple pie and not putting the sugar in. You'll get an apple pie, but it won't taste as good as it could with the sugar. I hope I made sense to you. Let me know how you're doing. Keep up the good work of reaching out to the people on HealthBoards and remember: You are not alone. :wave:





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