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Personality Disorder Message Board


Personality Disorder Board Index


Re: Do I have BPD?
Oct 22, 2005
Hey Paulista, your situation sounds EXACTLY like my wife, who was diagnosed with BPD over six years ago. She has attempted suicide once, and that entailed not eating for a week and drinking excessively and working out a ton in the meantime. Other than that, her "self destructive behavior" came in the form of skin picking (especially the nail cuticles), sexual deviation (cheating on boyfriends and husbands/engaging in sexually dangerous activities), drinking excessively (only at times), and her number one is lack of eating. She will convince herself that she is trying to drop a couple of pounds and eat like a half a meal a day for two weeks till she reaches her target weight. The truth is that she felt guilty for doing something and wants to make herself feel better while punishing herself, and starving herself to look better is a perfect excuse.

She has her good moments too, and she looks damn sexy and attractive. But none of that makes a difference in her diagnosis of BPD. She still has a very, very poor sense of self and she really has no idea what she wants or who she is. So far in her life, she has defined herself according to what the people around her found 'acceptable' or 'right'. Her good moments are great, but her bad moments can end with violent yelling or acts that could have gotten way out of hand had other people not been around to still the waters. She loves to escape and she loves to draw her attention to ANYTHING other than what is wrong and she even has a very, very difficult time just being honest enough to talk about her problems (namely, what she has done wrong in a given situation and what she can do better in the future to make things better) for more than ten minutes at a time.

If ANY of this rings a bell, you might want to get a proffesional opinion on the state of well being you are experiencing, and get help soon before things get worse. And if you do have BPD and you do nothing (denial, justification, however it might get passed off), then you are bound to make ALL the mistakes that you can read about in this forum. I wish you the very best. Hope I was of some help.

STzenn





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