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Hi Marysmile, :wave:

Thanks for responding to me. Yes, I have been EXTREMELY patient with my husband, Frank. Since the last 'silent treatment' that lasted for a month (the entire month of September), things have been stable. Yet I keep waiting for that shoe to drop without warning at any given moment.

I go out of my way to show love for him and feel like I'm CONSTANTLY trying to prove how much I care about him. It lasts for a time and then whammo - something happens and I usually have no idea what that something even is. He often tells me that he does these things to teach me a lesson and that it's for my own good. That makes me angry and maybe one day I need to express that anger and frustration as you indicate. I always tiptoe, trying not to make things even worse. That's something I know that I need to work on myself.

It gets very tiresome and frustrating having to continually prove to Frank what others can see so easily. Not many people would continue to be loving and supportive of someone who continually picks fights and verbally/emotionally abuses them. Yet I strive on anyway because I do love the man that I know he's capable of being.

Thanks again for the advice. I've been told to quit being so 'helpful' to him with things such as housekeeping, laundry, etc., to force him to be more responsible for himself. I'm sort of a caretaker by nature, so that's a hard transition for me but it's one I've been working on. For one thing, I know it's important for both of us that he learn to take care of himself. Another reason is that I'm tired of my help not being very appreciated for any given length of time. Am I taking the right approach?

Scared Wife

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