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A bit worried...
May 28, 2006
I've been reading about dependent personality disorder and for the most part it described me to a t. I know people always read stuff and think it describes them, so that might be true about me (probably is) but I feel like some of these things have had a definite negative impact on my life.

There are a few differences, mainly the way dependent people act, such as avoiding expressions of anger, undue compliance etc (although I can be like that with people I'm not comfortable around). Well these are the main things I've noticed that are the same as me:

1) Inability to make decisions, needing excessive support and reassurance
2) Needing people to take responsibility for major areas of life (something I'm getting better at though)
3) Difficulty initiating projects/doing things on my own (even though I do actually prefer to do assigned work on my own)
4) Feeling uncomfortable and helpless when alone (this mainly affects me with thoughts of the future, I'm living away from home now but the thought of getting slowly cut off from guidance through my life scares me a lot, but at the same time I don't want to have to go back to living with my parents. I think that worries me more than anything, not because I have a bad relationship with my parents but because it'll confirm to me and to everyone else that I'm incapable of looking after myself, and that I'll be a disappointment and a failure).
5) Seeking relationships as a source of care and support when another ends

I also had a look on ****pedia (I know it's not always that reliable but it's nice and concise, haha), and I read the following passages:

'However, to be comfortable with themselves and their inordinate helplessness, individuals with DPD must deny the feelings they experience and the deceptive strategies they employ. They limit their awareness of both themselves and others.'

I'm not totally sure what this means but as I was reading something above that, which said:

'Within protective relationships, individuals with DPD will be self-effacing, obsequious, agreeable, docile, and ingratiating.'

and I don't think I'm always like that really. As I said I tend to be like that more with people I'm nervous of but the more secure I become with someone the less I'm like that. But the statement above that made me question myself! Am I just misunderstanding it? Also I'm not too much like this:

'people with DPD will avoid even covert expressions of anger. They will be more than meek and docile; they will be admiring, loving, and willing to give their all. They will be loyal, unquestioning, and affectionate'

and well...I'm pretty stubborn and lazy to be honest. And stroppy and I can have a bit of a temper on me sometimes too.

But I could go on listing things that are like me and it would take forever and this is long enough already. I just want a second opinion so I don't end up going to see someone and then ending up being just some hypochondriac.

The main problems are really with my self-image and the fact that I feel hopelessly incompetent and I'm scared of trying out almost anything for fear of failing miserably, especially anything that involves a degree of responsibility.

Sorry for going on so long, I'm done now, hopefully that made at least some sense. If anyone round here is dependent that is, haha. I just want someone to tell me I'm definitely not because it's not a very nice prospect. I would say the two main things that relate to me are low self-esteem/self-image, inability to make decisions and inability to assume positions of responsibility.

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