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Ptsd, or what?
Nov 5, 2006
I am confused about if my boyfriend has some form of PTSD or if its actually narcissistic personality disorder or schizophrenia, I'm reposting what I wrote in the PTSD section cause I didn't get many responses:

My boyfriend has had a number of past experiences that have hurt him, though I don't know the full story. His parents' relationship was troubled and he doesn't remember them expressing love for one another with the exception of a couple specific memories. He's mentioned violence but I'm not sure if it was directed at him or he just witnessed it between his parents; either way it was, at least physically, mild. They didn't separate until he was a teenager (he's 21 now) but they were living together all that time, not getting along. His Mom is a strict Catholic and his father anti-religious, his Dad was always nitpicking at her and mocking her beliefs. She doesn't have many friends now and has made her religion her escape, everything is always "fine, that's fine." He felt in constant flux, not knowing what to believe, feeling these varying beliefs were imposed on him, especially by his Dad. Besides his family problems, he had a couple physical injuries including a motorbike accident and being struck by lightning while tripping on mushrooms (I was unaware one could survive being struck by lightning, but he is certain he felt the electrical current through his body.) He has a wheat allergy and in high school for about 6 months he had to leave school for unexplained fatigue and malaise. He has only had one serious relationship before me and she left him abruptly. Since then he has had no real connections sexually, mostly one night stands.

He does portray symptoms of PTSD in that he has panic attacks and is a self-described "emotional retard." He is extremely intelligent scientifically, studies pharmacology, but he is not good at expressing his emotions... not at all. This is a long distance relationship. The last time he came to visit me was marked by a lot of arguing but also a lot of opening up, sharing, bonding. One night he cried a lot, just sobbed and sobbed, I've never seen him cry before. Then as he left at the airport we both cried and hugged and I felt really close to him. Then once he got back home he acted aloof, cold, incapable of expressing any love towards me. His voice - completely monotone. He did cocaine one night and reacted almost psychotically, accusing me of being jealous that he had cocaine and I didn't (I used to be a drug addict and am still struggling with it but have come a long way), yelling at me, telling me I have an irritating personality, telling me he was sexually frustrated and I should send him naked pictures of myself. He certainly has delusions of grandeur, sometimes he'll say little biting comments with an undertone of sarcasm. He hates authority; I've brought up in the last couple days that maybe he should think about therapy and he says his angry reactions, accusations etc. are "not without reason." He cannot accept insults, he says what happened to him is "NOT HIS FAULT," that he will deal with his issues in his own time. I realize it's not up to me, I shouldn't try to change him, I just can't understand how can someone go from acting so loving to ignoring me and exploding with anger at me?

The lack of showing emotion appropriately scares me. He is so intelligent but without emotional maturity. I fear that he knows what to say and can feign emotion at certain times - he understands it but he can't really feel it. Could this be PTSD or is it something more intentionally malicious? I feel completely in love with him, I wish I could wipe away his pain and I have so much empathy for him, for most people. But his behavior since leaving has left me completely befuddled and hurt. What IS this?

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