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Personality Disorder Message Board


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Hello,
I would like to know if I have a pd.
I have had problems most of my life. I can remember having them in the first grade. I even remember drawing pictures of how I felt. Alone.
I know I have some difficulty wlith depression.
I allways feel like I need Everyone to like me.
I can't stand it if I think someone does not like me, even if I don't like them.
I am allways afraid that people are stabbing me in the back.
I am afraid of making mistakes and looking stupid.Then I am so afraid of making a mistake that I do make one or I just don't do anything at all.
There was someone I worked with who said "you really are a paranoid little thing".
In school (tech school a few years ago) I forgot to do something and said to my self " you are so crazy" I did not mean it and really didn't mean to say it out loud, however a calssmate I did not get along with heard it and said "thats the truth". (By the way I exelled at school then failed at the work I was studdying for).
A few years ago I had some newspaper clippings about the work I was doing. I could not find them one day and thought that someone I worked with came in my house and stole them. I know that they didn't and I found them. I am not that bad now but at the time it was awful.
I have trouble saying no. I feel like I have to do what I am being ask or they won't like me. Even my grown child. If they ask me for something I can't say no. I feel like if I said no I would be a bad mother and they would stop loving me.
These feelings have not only affected my relationships in life they also have affected my working life.
I have thought of seeing a Dr. but my husband would never let me go to a Dr for this. He tends to wear rose colored glasses and does not trust Doctors.

This is as close to seeking help as I have ever been.
Sorry if I rambled on, I had a lot I needed to say.





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