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Personality Disorder Message Board


Personality Disorder Board Index


BPD and Bipolar
Jan 20, 2007
I would like to know more about BPD. My husband of 1 month has been diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar and OCD. There are times when he lacks any emotion at all, no compassion and no empathy. It that BPD or Bipolar? This is all very new to me. We were together for 4 months and he showed no symptoms at all even though he said that he was diagnosed over 10 years ago. Right now is a very rough time for me since shortly after we go married he had to relocate to another state and I was going to follow in a couple of months. One day he loves me, sending me presents and can't wait for us to be together. The very next day I get an email stating that he wants to annual our marriage. He said it was a messed up thing that he did while he was not well and that we shouldn't be together. Needless to say I am heartbroken and shocked. Is this the man I fell in love with talking or is it the BPD/Bipolar?
Re: BPD and Bipolar
Jan 26, 2007
Who knows for sure but anybody with a disorder like that is going to be very difficult to get along with even if he is in some treatment. Maybe you should just get divorced.

The lacking of empathy and compassion is usually a product of both disorders.



[QUOTE=jmorazi;2753291]I would like to know more about BPD. My husband of 1 month has been diagnosed with BPD, Bipolar and OCD. There are times when he lacks any emotion at all, no compassion and no empathy. It that BPD or Bipolar? This is all very new to me. We were together for 4 months and he showed no symptoms at all even though he said that he was diagnosed over 10 years ago. Right now is a very rough time for me since shortly after we go married he had to relocate to another state and I was going to follow in a couple of months. One day he loves me, sending me presents and can't wait for us to be together. The very next day I get an email stating that he wants to annual our marriage. He said it was a messed up thing that he did while he was not well and that we shouldn't be together. Needless to say I am heartbroken and shocked. Is this the man I fell in love with talking or is it the BPD/Bipolar?[/QUOTE]
Re: BPD and Bipolar
Jan 28, 2007
Greendragon,
I know deep down inside he is a great person and I know that he loves me. But how much hurt and torment can one person take? I love him with all of my heart but I can only do so much. He is living a different state at this time. That's when I got the email saying he wished to not be married to me. I also found out yesterday that his exgirlfriend has moved in with him. We are not even divorced yet! There is not one day that goes by that I wish that we could work it out but obviously he doesn't want to. I feel that is nothing I can do at this point but allow him to do what he wants.
Re: BPD and Bipolar
Jan 28, 2007
I remeber some advice that could fit for this situation:

LOVE yourself enough to NOT stay in a relationship or environment where you feel sad most of the time and happy some of the time.

I am sorry you are going through this. I wish you the very best.
Re: BPD and Bipolar
Jan 28, 2007
you need to be done with him for your own good. wanting to help someone is nice but you can't let them destroy you in the process. he doesn't deserve your help or your love. time to move on.
you will get past this and find peace, something you never have with a BPD partner.
:angel:
:wave: I'm sorry to hear that your going thru such a bad time at the beginning of your marriage. Marriage it's self can be difficult without this to deal with.

My advice, if you love him then try to work it out. BPD is tough I have borderline traits (usally women have this not men) it sounds like his personality disorders are doing the talking for now. Remember people with BPD can switch to absolute love and absolute hate very fast due to their fear of abdonment. Let him know how you feel.

Overall it seems to early in the marriage to make any big decisions. Just know if he is a true borderline you have a very tough road ahead of you. Decide if you want to deal with this for the rest of your life.

May I suggest a good book "Walking on egg shells" check it out if will help.:wave:
Re: BPD and Bipolar
Feb 11, 2007
I would like to give it a try but the problem is that we are living in different states at this time and he has already moved in his exgirlfriend into his house. This only took one week after he arrived in the state that he is in. He has drawn up paperwork for our divorce and plans to bring it here with him tomorrow. He is coming to town for a hearing regarding a DUI he got on Christmas Eve. We are under a winterstorm watch and I have told him that he should reschedule his trip but he won't seem to listen. To be honest, I am pretty much at wits end here. I do love him very much but it's very difficult (as I am sure you all know) dealing with someone that will not listen to reason. I truly think in my heart that the only reason he is with the exgirlfriend is because she is there and I am not but there isn't anything I can do about it. I am just feeling helpless in this situation.
Re: BPD and Bipolar
Feb 17, 2007
Well he came to town the beginning of the week. He has taken himself off his meds and he appeared to be the man I fell in love with. He says that he loves me but in the same sentence he wants a divorce. He is living with his exgirlfriend and appears to be dedicated to her. I know in my heart and so does he that he is only with her because he cannot be alone. Yes, he talks about marrying her after our divorce is final. His own words are that when he is alone that he eats himself alive. The time we spent together while he was in town was very hard for me. I love him but know that we will not be together because he is unwilling to even give us a chance. What I don't understand is that how can he be off meds and appear to be okay when the past couple of months was such a struggle for him while on meds?





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