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Personality Disorder Message Board

Personality Disorder Board Index

im mid 30 s, single parent, i had a happy childhood but found it difficult to make friends,
i married at 21 but it was not a happy one, he was very controling, and i suffered mental and physical abuse, the first 6 months were ok but after that there was no support, i wasnt alowed out other than work, and had to be home straight after or it was hell, we had 2 children but he hyrt them as wll, there was no support, or help, i did everything alone, there were no cuddles or comfort, i was entirely alone miles from my family.
after 13 years i found the strength to take my kids and go, he found me, and beat me up worse than ever before, because he wanted us back and i wouldnt listen, it was all part of his control thing and he d lost it,
after 8 months i met a wonderful guy, he was loving, caring, supportive everything i could want, but i found it difficult to relate to him, i wouldnt open up, tell anything bad for fear of regection, he problems of his own, which meant i had to care for him and help him also. he cheated on me on a few occasons, we split but always got back. its like id put up with anything just to keep him. i loved him so much but i just couldnt give him space, he was so distant and horrible to me at times, but i couldnt let go, i even lied to cover mistakes i had made, in order to keep him. i get severely depressed and just need that contact with him weater its good or bad, we were getting on slowly, nice e mails etc then i didnt hear for 1 day and i thought allsorts and brought something up which caused a major arguement by e mail, and now we dont even speak. we went through so much together, i had the worst of him and feel gutted someone else would get the good side.
friends tell me im obsessed, or a depentant personality, i dont know?

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