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Personality Disorder Message Board

Personality Disorder Board Index

Dec 8, 2007
Honestly i don't know. Could someone say if this sounds like bpd or not? You see theres this girl who i'm crazy about..i mean fanaticlly in love with. Last time i was hospitalized for a suicide attempt...she purposely got herself admitted to the hospital to see me. They would not let me see her and things turned ugly. I went on a hunger strike for a long time.. and then i couldn't take it anymore and i threatened to kill the staff on the unit...i was put in restraints twice because they thought i would harm myself once a nurse called my mother and said what i was acting like borderline personality disorder.. i was being very "manipulative" or something he said. i was so mad i was punching walls as hard as i could until my knuckles were bleeding really bad..come to think of it ive always been sort of an angry person. Mad at the world, mad at my sucky life, mad at this messed up country, mad i was alive. I never got into too much trouble but this anger has been taken out in self harming ways. Right now i'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder which i don't defines me. I have very intense depression yet it only lasts for a few hours or a day..and then i'm fine for a few days..and then i get really suicidal and feel so terrible agian. Well back to this girl, I never got to see her once eccept the time i spirinted past the nurses and barricaded myself in her room to talk to her. Those evil people sent her away to drug rehab...which i guess is ok with me except i haven't seen her in almost three months and its been killing me since day 1. I dont leave my house...i dont have any fun..all i do is think about this girl...wishing i would just die until the day she comes home.. idk about whether i should post this..i really dont feel comfortable talking about myself especially to strangers..dont know if this is right..i see my doc on monday and i was hoping i could talk to him with some knowledge from you guys...

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