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I agree, the origin of that quote is a misnomer and I'm a non-BPD who refuses to let it exist in my mind. I understand that people can get frustrated (me too), I finally realized that this not a battle of whose right or wrong. It's an issue that needs more attention to it, because too many suffer daily.

I had to determine how I wish to Love, if I say I Love, under any circumstance. This doesn't mean I'm submissive, I get my point across always--even if it's heard late, it's still heard by those in my life.

Exactly what the previous thread states, is one of the keys it's great advice and since they admit they're BPD--they are living proof that that quote is bogus! Recognize it when it occurs and find an alternative behavior that works best with perseverance. It takes practice, patience, understanding and support on everyone's part.

Believe me, I screw up too and try to humbly get myself out of the way when I'm the problem. Especially, if I'm frustrated and want to press their trigger. Over time I've found effective ways. Forgiveness towards each other has been crucial for us--because we both know we screw up and probably will again. LOL

Did you ever see a movie with another person and both of you are non-BPD?
You love it, they hate it, and you can't understand each others feelings... LOL

The minute I learned to let go of "being right" is when my relationship with the BPDs in my life began to succeed...

I wholeheartedly know that the BPD persons in my life feel more "hurt" inside, like the most angelic child, than wanting to be "right" about something. As a non-BPD with experience, I am able to look past any episode with strength and understanding. I clearly see that underneath it all, they simply processes their emotions to greater degrees and in different ways. They simply want you to Love them and always be there no matter what.

If you realize how to work in their lives, successful communication and responsibility on everyone's part results.

non-BPDs PLeeeeEEEZ READ, READ, READ, LEARN, LEARN, LEARN and PRACTICE WHAT YOU LEARN WITH PATIENCE AND VALIDATION OF YOUR LOVED ONES FEELINGS, BECAUSE YOU TRULY CARE AND THEY MAY GIVE YOU THE MOST HONORABLE OPPORTUNITY TO IMPACT THEIR LIVES FOR THE BETTER (IF THEY HAVE YET TO DO SO).

The most recent BPD in my life, whom I love dearly, is very aware of her actions, or inactions, and wants help badly and is willing to grow as much as possible. In fact she is keeping her therapy appointment for tomorrow and demands that I take her.

In addition, all the BPDs in my life are incredibly intuitive, exciting, creative and have a lot to offer. And to mention, they're incredibly talented, beautiful (gorgeous) women. By being around them and inviting me into their soul, they constantly challenge who I am.

It may make me tired and drained at times but, I learn a lot about myself and for that I'm grateful. They have stretched me in positive ways I've never imagined possible, because I'm forced to find a better form of behaviour/communication/being. And trust when I say, I'm extremely forceful and demanding upon them to grow, too.

It's hard to explain to others (like my close friends who are brilliant), who view it from the outside, as to why I would stay by a BPD's side. The irony is, they who queston me are the very same people who also put their lives in my hands, too -- they will not make any decision without consuting me first. I get a kick out of them for I know someday as the world is more educated, there will be less "trauma" about BPD and they will finally get it. (That celebrity who admits BPD may be right around the corner)

So I smile, because even though the tears have flowed, the BPD's in my life have made me a pillar of emotional strength and I am thankful. :)





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