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Personality Disorder Message Board


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Karen,

Take care of that cold. Try some Jewish Pennicillin..chicken soup for the uninitiated..:)..That will set you right in short order. Also you might try Airborne with that OJ. I started using it when flu season started a couple of years ago because of the suppressed immunity with the Chronic Fatigue (and Immune Difficiency Syndrome) and it has helped me kick and/or avoid most bugs. I don't tout anything that I haven't used with success.

Thanks to you and Lil both for the kuddos, but I just call 'em like I see 'em or live 'em. I gave you that spirited pep talk and found that I would need it myself later when the letter still didn't come. It finally made it late this morning and wasn't exactly what my attorney hoped for, but better late than never. It started very strong and sort of petered out at the end, but we're hoping that it will be enough to get the job done and reinstate my LTD. If not, then I have some very hard decisions to make in pretty short order...perhaps time for more character building, but I keep telling them I'm quite a character already. :jester:

Speaking of character, I'm very proud of you for pulling yourself back up by your bootstraps and getting back in there today. :angel: I've got a fresh pack of index cards laying on my coffee table if you want to borrow some. ;) No kidding, maybe your Mom has some in her receipe box. It really does help.

Something else you might think about doing is making a picture board or a story board of what you want for your life and where you'd like to be say in a year from now. Cut pictures out of magazines of furniture and decorating ideas of living rooms, dining rooms, bedrooms, etc., and plan your apartment or house and look for a picture of the place where you want to live and put that on there. You can do it for your job, too. Then put them up in your room where you can see them everyday and affirm that these blessings are coming your way.

I'm done saying and seeing bad things in my life. I'm getting better and only good things are coming my way. Nothing and no one will harm me. My path is getting brighter and brighter. I know that my future is going to be better than my past.

I know that your future is going to be better than your past and that your path is getting brighter and brighter. I know that only good things are coming your way. I know that even when problems occur, they will be for a moment in the scheme of things because our future is assured. We're just working on getting our attitudes to line up with our futures and when we get that down, then we've got it licked. I know that BPD does not mean beaten, pummeled and destroyed...it means: BRIGHT PROMISED DAYS. :angel:

Love ya, Karen :angel:

Houston
Hi Karen :wave:

I hope you enjoyed your day off and did something really fun. :)

When I get down, I will often go to the mall and walk around. Unfortunately, I often end up spending too much money...that's one of my BPD traits...buying stress relief...so I'm making concerted efforts to stay away from malls and tempting websites where I've shopped til my credit cards herniated in the past. ;)

What I did the last time I shopped and spent too much was invested in something I really enjoy that would continue to give me pleasure so I don't feel tempted to go out and spend more. I have some favorite movies that I like to watch, some I can watch over and over and never get tired of. Well I found them on sale and bought four. So now when I get the blues in the evening and there's nothing else I want to do to occupy my mind, I pop one of those in.

I also have a truck load of books to read to improve my mind and philosophy and I've joined those two classes. That gets me out among the living and helps me focus on the positive. And then I have you guys here to keep me going. I value your's and Lil's friendship very much. I have other friends and my family, but they don't know me like you two do because they don't understand the BPD. I can really talk to you about how I'm feeling and what I'm trying to accomplish and you get it because you know what it's like. We can share our experiences and support each other through the cobwebby and murky days...the ones that try to tie our feet up in seaweed (usually of our own making) and pull us under. :angel:

I know that if I stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive, that good things are going to happen to me because, even if something bad happens I can look at it and try to find the positive in it. My attitude is going to be positive because I'm going to remain focused on the lesson to be learned from the situation.

I should have learned some lessons earlier in life that I didn't and now I'm back in class and it's costing me more to take it again. That's how life works. We keep getting these lessons thrown at us until we learn them. I can accept that and learn the lesson this time and go on. Or I can be angry about it and become bitter and resentful and climb into my illness fully and have a big old pity party.

The last option most assuredly has me loosing my home, filing bankruptcy, and moving to a Medicare nursing home within a few months. The first option has me accepting what's already happened and trying to make the best choices to climb out of the hole I've been thrown into/dug/jumped into...it's kind of a mix.

Enough of that boring downer. Whew! I'm enjoying a quiet day. Later, I'll see if I can install my new internet service. If I get hung up, maybe I can get my son over tomorrow to help me with it. He's Mr. IT...that's his profession...information technology. He and his girlfriend are out enjoying the Chinese New Year festival today since we aren't doing the move.

Anyway, I decided to get rid of my current cable provider and switch to DSL and satalite. Too much lag time with cable when people get home and it's always going down. They say the only time I'll have trouble with satalite is during storms possibly, but I don't get good electric service during storms anyway and try not to run anything during storms to prevent surges as it is--surge protectors or not. They tell me that I won't have the lag time with this new service no matter how many people are on line. We'll see.

It could be my computer, that's probably what my son would say because he just got a new one, but I didn't have this lag before the new cable company came into Houston. It's always going out, the service sux, they want to charge for every little thing and the prices have gone through the roof. By switching I've cut my bill in half from a month ago when I add up all of my services this is covering. I think that's cool.

The only thing that stopped me from doing this sooner was my almost-ex not calling and switching this one account into my name. You see, things really are turning around in my favor! Isn't it wonderful that he's becoming so cooperative?

Well, I've rambled on long enough. Again, I hope you had a really great day!

Love ya, Karen :angel:

Houston
You can ramble as much as you like, this is the place to do it. Goodness knows I do my share!! Amen! What is this about you losing your home? Or is that what could happen? You lost me there.

You are lucky to have a willing IT person to help you. My brother in law is super smart and I have no idea what he is saying when I do manage to wrangle his help, he is far above just an IT guy. His job is very specialized. I don't even understand it, but he does not really deal with little old PC's if that tells you anything. Yeah, he makes the big bucks!!

It is Monday and I survived another day of work. I thought my boss might have something to say about me being out sick one day, and asking off for Friday. She has much bigger fish to fry I think. (thank goodness!). So I am safe for now. Still having trouble getting up early. I came home and woke up to a phone call at 8:45 pm. I need to work 3-11 shift, but I don't like those hours either. You cannot have a social life, if I had a chance to have one.

Then night shift kills my body. So there you go. Anyway, I truly believe I will be where I am supposed to be. I have applied for some jobs, but have not heard a word from any. The difference with me now is I don't stress over it.

It is strange having money coming in, I wish I knew I could count on it. This is just a temporary job, but they all seem to like me and I am taking sign language classes twice a week-I do love learning new things. Speaking of learning new things, if anyone has any ideas for new careers, let me know. I think I have been in my present one so long..21 years, that I feel like it is part of me. Which also brings me to the fact that if I do not take my next pay day, pay for the bugger pharmacology review class...I could be in big trouble with the licensing board, and they are ****s for real. They will catch up with me one day. Before when I tried to take it, I could not concentrate and I do have some ADD, plus stress, plus bpd was raging. I think now, I will be able to do it. They only give you 90 days to complete the course. Yucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only redeeming factor is that I will LEARN things from it. Knowledge is power they say. When I ever do finish that, I am going to throw a party!!! Then the ****s will probably make me take more courses, not as difficult, to keep my license. Oh boy!!!

Now are you totally confused? The pressure of that course hanging over my head by itself is enough to cause someone to be depressed. Plus it costs $400. Just what I wanted to spend my money on!! Ha ha.

Well, I had my weekend of resting and quiet, getting over the cold and sore throat and at least feel better physically. I firmly believe that if you do not get enough rest, you will take much much longer to recouperate from anything. I have seen it in myself and others.

As you say, enough rambling for now. Over and out...

Have a smooth landing Houston.

Love ya,

Karen :angel:





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