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Hi lil,

No I do not know why he hung up except that he just seemed to be in some kind of foul mood. He called last night and said he did NOT hang up on me, but I know he did. Oh well, he will get over it. I have. He was wishing me happy valentines day and being nice, I guess his way of apologizing. My family seems to lack the "how to say you are sorry" gene or something.

I am feeling better now about work, but I still hate the fact that I have to do it. If it helps me to get out of this house soon, it will be worth it. I am just not confident that if I get enough money and move out, that I will not have another "breakdown". My self confidence is not too high obviously. I think once I was labelled as a bpd, I feel like a defective person, unable to function as a normal person in society.

I know I do NEED to get out of here, because my dad is drinking daily his 2-3 glasses of wine and tonight he was acting silly and I said "I knew you must have been drinking", he later accused me of trying to control this house!!! What a joke. When he gets worse, and he will, I am not even going to try to deal with him. He is getting senile dementia and has other health problems and the alcohol will just speed up his decline. I cannot deal with him sometimes. A LOT of times really.

Anyway, I am working on something very interesting tonight, and when I get it done, I will let you know.

How are things with you? I wrote Houston a note, poor thing. I am keeping her in my prayers.

Love,

karen ;)
Hi Karen...

Both my parents were alcoholics, so I know what you're saying about your Dad.

My sister got married (the first time) at 16 to get away from them, and I spent as much time as I could at her house. It's REALLY HARD to deal with:(

I hear you about working. Because we have little self confidence (surprise-you're not alone) we put way too much pressure on ourselves about our performance. If you can keep with it, it should get easier, as the job becomes more routine...almost like driving. But I do know how hard it is.

I think Houston will be fine....she's pretty feisty:D

You're working on something....hmmmmm sounds mysterious....I'm interested to hear what it is.....

As for me, the usual for now, have lots of appointments next week. I'm still working on my apartment...slowly, but surely....it's coming together.

When you finish what you're working on, let me know....I'm curious:)

Love ya

Lil
Hi Karen.....

Wow....you could make a movie out of that!

Are you sending the letter? Dr. P is all about kids, and it sounds as if your grandkids could use some help.

I would give it a shot, if I were you.

It might calm you a bit to know that you've done SOMETHING, ANYTHING...to try to get help for the situation.

I'm interested....let me know what you decide.

Love ya:angel:

Lil
Yes I did send it before I wrote that on here. I think it sounds too unbelievable to be true, but it is ALL true and then some. I hope that he does respond or his show rather and at least I have tried as you say.

I think she is bipolar or has a personality disorder...SEVERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still care about her, even as much as she has hurt me. I wish I could help her, I have encouraged her to go to a mental health center and she says she has. Hmmm. Well, maybe if we got on that show she could take a polygraph..ha ha.

I am home sick today with flu like symptoms, I woke up every hour last night aching. I feel crappy and this is the second time in 3 weeks I have gotten sick from this job. I do not want to go back there. It is like licking a petri dish full of the cold and flu every day!!!

I wish the company I work for could find me something else, this is ridiculous and I hate it!!!

Half the reason I stayed home too was I am sure because I hate it so much.
(true cconfessions)

Love ya,

Karen
Hi Karen.....

Your daughter-in-law can go to a hundred mental health facilities, but unless she's willing to accept a diagnosis, nothing will ever change.

People want help, all the time, but they aren't willing to admit that they are part of the problem. It's always the "other guy".

Sad, but true.

I have no idea if this could even be a consideration or not....have you thought about changing careers?

I worked in Accounting for 20 years, and have no desire to go back to it. I want to get into healthcare (psychological) at some level. The government here has made it much easier than it used to be to go back to school. One almost needs a BA to work at McDonald's these days......

Love ya...

Lil
[QUOTE=Pri Lily;3449116]Hi Karen.....

Your daughter-in-law can go to a hundred mental health facilities, but unless she's willing to accept a diagnosis, nothing will ever change.

People want help, all the time, but they aren't willing to admit that they are part of the problem. It's always the "other guy".

Sad, but true.

I have no idea if this could even be a consideration or not....have you thought about changing careers?

I worked in Accounting for 20 years, and have no desire to go back to it. I want to get into healthcare (psychological) at some level. The government here has made it much easier than it used to be to go back to school. One almost needs a BA to work at McDonald's these days......

Love ya...

Lil[/QUOTE]

That is true, she can go to a MHC, but it is like the old saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. I do feel better after writing that letter, I just wish I could find out if they will call and take me seriously. I guess there is no way to know.

Yes I have thought thousands of times about changing careers, I just cannot think of anything I want to do. You are right about having to have a bachelors degree to do anything. That is like my job, it is hard to find anything other than hospital work without a degree. Most jobs in my field suck, and anyone in it will tell you so. I think I am burnt out, but just do not know what to do. I keep waiting for the light bulb to come on in my brain. (Or as I call it, the dead zone) Does not help me to feel like I am contributing to anything but a lot of people's misery, if that makes sense. Boo hoo. I feel like a baby lately when I am sick. I feel like a dishrag.

I have researched other careers, talked to people about IT, they do not seem too thrilled with that either. After 2 years, I think I have pretty much gone over everything, maybe not.

But tell me seriously, what you think my chances are of getting my family on that show? I have a feeling my son may not cooperate or his ex. Her mom, which I failed to mention, is a major enabler. She needs to be there too.

What is up with you LIL? I never hear.

Houston...we seem to have lost contact...are you there? ;)

Take care all,

Love, karen
Hi Karen....

I think that the show will take your letter seriously, I would think that the problem would be very stiff competition...I think he gets lots of letters.

I know that it's awful just standing by, and watching what's going on. It happens to me as well....with my friends, and their kids. Unfortunately, Grandparents, and friends don't really have much of a say. All we can do is stand by, and wring our hands. Or, try our best, not to worry about it. That's very easy to say.....

About another career....try to think of something that won't stress you out as badly. I met a nurse at an Education Resources center that was going into Office Administration, because she was getting older, and providing patient care was becoming hard for her.....

I am going to Toronto tomorrow...I have a settlement meeting for a Long Term Disability lawsuit that I launched, after I got cut off, with no notice. I really need the money badly, and I hope it gets settled.

So, that's what's happening with me.....for now, anyway.

Love ya

Lil





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