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Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 3, 2008
Hey Jan :wave:

You got me LOL with the drama of the court room scene. I had thought of a production, but not that good.

I was going to try to go get the new one today, but they say we're in for some rough weather all day...possibly tornados. It started raining here about an hour ago, nothing heavy and just off and on, but the really bad stuff is supposed to come in around noon. So I'll probably blow that off and class tonight too, if it hasn't blown over by later this afternoon. I won't drive in bad weather if I can help it.

My LTD attorney is setting up his own practice right now. Friday was his last day with the old firm. When we spoke last he said he would call me in a couple of weeks and I will ask him about the possiblity if I get a new dx. But remember I don't have an official dx on the BPD. I self-dx'd that after learning about it for my very BPD almost-ex and having an epiphany.

Messing around with my medication is what may have unmasked the RA. Well, that the fact that my hands are showing signs of deformity.

My point is, that official diagnosis have to be made before any headway can be gained regardless. But mental illness doesn't get more than a few months disability from anything the way I read it. Physical disability is the only way to go and be assured of a proper outcome.

So, if I get a dx of RA, then I'll see about re-opening the disability case without having to file suit. If I have to file a lawsuit anyway, it can only help my strengthen my case.

So, speaking of lawsuits, I will defintely be pulling for you to win against the psycho landlord. I love the fact that you have a definite "out" on the 60 days notice. Sharing a bathroom with his kid!!! Guess it was worth it now! :D

Listen, I'm going to post this before the weather hits hard so I can power down the machine. Talk soon.

Love ya, :angel:

Deb
Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 3, 2008
Hi Deb....:)

I thought that my courtroom scenario would make for a wonderful dramatic moment between you and your almost-ex. I'm letting the BPD out a little these days, to diffuse anger....and we're just talking about it....right?;)

I think the landlord thing is poetic justice. The lawyer is sending him a DEMAND TO PAY....if he does fine. If he doesn't, we can air the dirty laundry in court. I don't have a problem with it either way.

It sounds like you have all your eventualities figured out.....now you have to make them so.

I hope your weather doesn't get too bad.....stay in and batten down the hatches. If it gets really bad, get in the bathtub, and cover yourself with pillows, or go down to the basement (if you have one)

Love ya......:angel:

Jan
Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 5, 2008
Hi Jan :wave:

Well, I weathered the storm. It was a blustery couple of days, but no damage here. I haven't been to the other house yet. I have this huge garden tub with a picture window-sized piece of rain glass over it, so I don't do the tub. The other one's upstairs. Not good.

No basements in Houston. We're built on a swamp. These two brothers, Smith I think, came down here and bought the swamp north of Gaveston. Wanting to make a killing in real estate, one brother, the fast talker, left his other brother behind to keep an eye on things, and he went back East to sell parcels of their land. Low and behold both, he made a killing all right. Bubba died of malaria before he could come back and fetch him.

Got a letter from my attorney today with a letter from the almost-ex's attorney setting out a list of things he says he didn't get when he came to pick up his stuff. Things that weren't on the first list, still trying to claim my personal property, still trying to take community property that we haven't divided or agreed to, claiming that he didn't get things that I know weren't here already, and claiming additional property that I divided with him, some of it my separate property. No mention of my separate property that he was to have returned in exchange for some of this stuff, like my freezer.

We had the big Primary here yesterday. Hot Stuff didn't re-register in his new precinct and voted early I noticed. I wonder if that will catch up to him because I don't think they forward voter registration cards and I wrote [COLOR="Red"]"MOVED"[/COLOR] in red and dropped it back in the mail when it came. Was that wicked? :D

Oh, it looks like he's trying to make me responsible for replacing his lost title on his old 260Z. He didn't have the title when he moved in with me. I've been after him for years to get a replacement title or to find out what the car is worth without a title before he started throwing money into it, but no.... Now it's on the list of things he didn't get. He's had his kids looking for that title at his ex-wife's house for years. What a jerk! I'll bet even his mechanic knows he didn't have the title.

I know we're just talking...but the BPD pictures are worth a thousand smiles ;)

I so want to do something like that to him....or worse... I won't though...He meanwhile, is showing his backside all over the place...BPD to the max...the only thing he hasn't done recently is showed up here or someplace else where I am looking for trouble. That'll come later after the court case is over if I'm not gone. I've got to be gone, preferrably to a smaller place, a condo or townhouse, away from Houston in a gated community that's heavily patrolled.

Okay, I'm going to go get some food now. I haven't eaten all day. Speaking of which, a friend of mine is sending me grocery money...how embarrassing..:o

Love ya :angel:

Deb
Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 8, 2008
Jan,

How's the weather your way? I'm not getting any reports on Canada since I switched TV providers. I know our northern and middle section is getting slammed today with a blizzard.

I actually did get out in that storm Thursday night and make my meeting. I went early before it got really bad and by the time the meeting let out, the weather had cleared enough for me to get home okay. It was still raining, but not in torrential sheets.

One of the women at the meeting told me that I need to stop asking "Why all of this bad stuff is happening" and start asking "What can be learned from it all." I guess I had started asking "Why" more than "What" lately.

One thing I've learned is that when I ask "Why" I'm focused on me and self-pity rears it's ugly head. BPD can rear it's ugly head more then, too. But when I ask "What" I am focused more outward on learning from the situation and often on helping others to learn from it, too. The BPD is kept at bay. Life comes into focus, if only for a moment as I learn and teach this new maxim. (It probably doesn't hurt that my doctor also upped the dosage on my antidepressant and that's finally kicking in. ;))

I can't wait for you to take that perv landlord to court. Too bad it won't be televised.

Love ya :angel:

Deb
Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 13, 2008
Hi Deb......:angel:

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. For one thing, I didn't see your post, and I've been in la-la land anyway.

What I've learned is that when everything goes to hell in a handbasket, that it's making way for change, and a different lifestyle.....you have to have the upheaval to get to the good stuff.

Maybe one day, you'll look back, and smile.....I still smile thinking about the walker in the courtroom.....I liked that:D

Our BPD just makes the challenges that much more.....interesting.....yeah....that's the word.

Glad to hear the AD's are working....yay AD's...gotta love 'em.

And yes, I'm waiting with baited breath to see what happens with the landlord situation.;) I will keep you posted.

Love ya, Deb....:angel:

Jan
Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 15, 2008
[quote]Some days I feel so strong emotionally and mentally and others I just fall apart. I don't if the ADs are working all that well some times. There are times when I just want to throw in the towel and take off, but with the price of gas now days, can't do that... :jester:[/quote]

Hi Deb....:angel:

This quote describes BPD in a nutshell, to me.

Think about it....sometimes we can conquer the world and at others, we want to hide from it.

Trying to strike a good balance is the key.

For me, it's almost like I expend all my energy, and then I'm done for a while.

Great job with the rose bushes. Disabled people have to be creative when faced with challenges.....physical and mental.

That's my biggest job....get stuff done, and use creativity, to avoid burning out in the process.....and keep it consistent.

Usually, I'm successful, but not always.

Well, that's my little diatribe on how to cure BPD.....all I have to do now is to figure out how to do what I just said.

Sorry, Deb....I just kind of zoned in on that one paragraph....

Love ya....:angel:

Jan
Re: Tooooooo Much
Mar 16, 2008
Hey Jan,

You're right, ya know...it is the BPD...and the constant of stress of my situation on all fronts. But I'm really hopeful that some answers will be forthcoming with this new doctor--that she'll be able to make a diagnosis and find a treatment for the physical problem and with that, perhaps the LTD can be revisited or, even better, I can become well enough to go back to work. It is unfortunate that my profession is in an area that happens to be suffering tremendously right now with the economy, but the presidential election may turn that around.

I'm not going to stay long tonight. I'm very tired. Didn't sleep well last night. Perhaps I'll do better tonight. I should have taken something stronger for the pain so I could have rested better, but I hate to do that every night. It makes me so hung over the next day.

Love ya :angel:

Deb





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