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Personality Disorder Message Board


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[COLOR="Blue"]:wave: First of all Karenv513, Welcome to the boards!

Your BPD story so far is very interesting. You've started on the path by recognising there is a problem, have accepted some responsibility for wanting to help your condition, and have a genuine willingness to want to explore and connect with others to find out what treatments or support might be helpful for you.

Well Done! Accepting there is a problem can be quite confronting. Some days you may feel totally unhinged and unstable, other days may be more normal and calm and you're wondering what all the fuss is about because you "feel just fine, thank-you for asking." . . . . . .lol.

I feel the need to urge you to start reading about this condition, read, research, read and more research, and then more reading. Try and stay close to the well researched academic and medicallly reviewed or co-authored literature post 1990>. Anything earlier than 1990 can be a bit stigmatising and well there's no other way to say it but - "bloody horrible".

Be sceptical about the web BPD info too, some of it is just pure trash such as one [I][I]'Shari Schreib[/I]er'[/I] who has a page or two of complete and utter negative BPD propaganda aimed at frightening emotionally crippled pubescent adult males into seeking Shari's counsell to help fragile men manage in their "relationship problems with BPD women'- Oh please?! :(

If I could get my hands on her, I'd giver her a very serious talking to - truly I would. :mad: Hopfully others will use their intelligence when reviewing Shari's writing and see it for what it is - a blatant advertisement for fearful mysoginistic men/ :yawn:

I was originally diagnosed in 2006, when enduring yet another bout of crippling depression and anxiety sought out a 'lady shrink'. I attended a couple of appointments and never went back, . . . . . . . until . . .. . . . now. Then in 2007 I had a bit of a meltdown - just awful - as you're likely aware of how horrible these overwhellming feelings are there's no need to detail this.
Fastforward to 2008, still feeling crook, unable to function normally - don't quite know why, so after doing the rounds seeing all the local doctors, finally ended up back in the 'lady shrink's' office. No surprises - she Dx me with BPD again. Although I must add that I've also gained a few more labels since that first 2008 meeting with the 'lady shrink'. ;)

Go back through my posts, and you'll find them easily.

Back to the topic: I have some BPD criteria, but not others. The BPD criteria that [I]does fit [/I]my presentation fits like a glove, however, other parts of the BPD criteria bear absolutley no relation to my life whatsoever.

Each person presents with their very own version of BPD, and no two people will likely present with all the same symptoms or have exactly the same triggers.

In your post you mention that seeing attractive women seemingly generates intense feelings for you, then this is likely to be one of your (many) triggers.
I have triggers too, but excluding attractive women, because if my husband looked at another woman, I'd quickly hang a sign around his neck saying "free to good home - enquire within" . . . . . .lol. Actually, yes I would do this!

[SIZE="2"]Even his former wife won't take him back, and I often joke with him and her sometimes about this too. [/SIZE]

My triggers are to do with 'belonging', 'rejection', 'self-esteem', self/identity', 'cognition', and 'emotion', but my behaviour plays out differently to yours. I hope you may be beginning to see how 'some' of our triggers can be the same e.g. fear of rejection, but differs in the way we respond to it, internally through thougts and feelings, and externally through our behaviour.

This BPD business is one very interesting and facinating condition! And don't let anyone tell you something different, or make you feel like you're some freak - [SIZE="5"]you're not [/SIZE]. . . . . . . And if someone tries to give you the 'you're a freak' - then you will be able to intelligently ellucidate your superior BPD knowledge and put them right.

I would urge you to find a really great psychiatrist that you can slowly build a working relationship with, cause when you really need them in the middle of a serious decline, they then will already know your history. The other thing I've found out about 'shrink's is that they have the most amazing knowledge about pharmaceutical drugs, drug combinations, augmented therapy - i.e. where one drug is given, but another specific drug is used to enhance some particular aspect of the original drug - it's truly amazing. The 'shrink's have so much more knowledge and expertise in this than a general practitioner does. Which is not so unsurprising really.

Ok, I've rabbitted (talked) on enough for a while. Get reading, and please keep us posted. Please be gentle to yourself, look after your needs, and be with people who you feel good with.
All the best for now,
Waratah x x x :)[/COLOR]





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