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Hello everyone

I'm having difficulty determining where I should post about this disorder, does anyone know? or better yet, does anyone know more about it or have some personal experiences?

thank you!
[QUOTE=00lady00;4116653]Hello everyone

I'm having difficulty determining where I should post about this disorder, does anyone know? or better yet, does anyone know more about it or have some personal experiences?

thank you![/QUOTE]

Have you been diagnosed with NPD?

I can tell you one of the interesting things about it is that if you strongly suspect you have NPD--as in, you're willing to self-diagnose yourself with it--you probably don't have it. From what I gather, NPD is narcissistic traits to an extreme. In other words, it's unlikely that people who have NPD would even admit they have a problem.
Actually, I've been going to a therapist and he suggested I read "Trapped in the mirror", I haven't picked it up yet but I've been doing research and I think I have NPD. There are a lot of things that make sense to me. I also have PTSD and ... I'm co-dependent, I'm feeling extremely overwheled.
"Trapped in the Mirror" is for adult children of narcissistic parents, though NPD parents can have NPD kids, often kids of NPD have the opposite problem, having been turned "inside out" by parents who considered them objects.

Similar to the co-dependent/alcoholic relationship, it's sometimes called inverted narcissist or co-narcissist. Co-N adults often use fantasy and escapism as a defense mechanism. (like in the short story, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty")


I think this description (by psychotherapist Alan Rappport) is very good: [I]"Narcissists are interpersonally rigid, easily offended, self-absorbed, blaming, and find it difficult to empathize with others. Co-narcissistic people, as a result of their attempts to get along with their narcissistic parents, work hard to please others, defer to other’s opinions, worry about how others think and feel about them, are often depressed or anxious, find it hard to know their own views and experience, and take the blame for interpersonal problems. They fear being considered selfish if they act assertively."[/I]


For people with NPD (and some are self aware) pickings are slim as far as self help books go - although there are many Borderline Personality disorder books that relate to or have chapters about NPD.
[QUOTE=AuntieLeela;4117004]"Trapped in the Mirror" is for adult children of narcissistic parents, though NPD parents can have NPD kids, often kids of NPD have the opposite problem, having been turned "inside out" by parents who considered them objects.

Similar to the co-dependent/alcoholic relationship, it's sometimes called inverted narcissist or co-narcissist. Co-N adults often use fantasy and escapism as a defense mechanism. (like in the short story, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty")


I think this description (by psychotherapist Alan Rappport) is very good: [I]"Narcissists are interpersonally rigid, easily offended, self-absorbed, blaming, and find it difficult to empathize with others. Co-narcissistic people, as a result of their attempts to get along with their narcissistic parents, work hard to please others, defer to otherís opinions, worry about how others think and feel about them, are often depressed or anxious, find it hard to know their own views and experience, and take the blame for interpersonal problems. They fear being considered selfish if they act assertively."[/I]


For people with NPD (and some are self aware) pickings are slim as far as self help books go - although there are many Borderline Personality disorder books that relate to or have chapters about NPD.[/QUOTE]

I think I read that article online and one thing I found very interesting was when he was talking about how Co-N people can usually play either role and that they often believe everyone is narcissistic and when establishing relationships one of the main goals is to find out if one is or isnt narcissistic. I see this in my actions as I only started noticing this to be a problem in romantic relationships... at least a problem that I could catch. I simply turn whatever person I'm with into a monster, by being very pushy and trying make whatever person fit my "fairy tale love" story. Those things don't exist but unfortunately I think this is all unconscious and I fear I'll always feel worthless/hopeless. The truth is i've always done this... "fantasy" thing, ever since I was a young child, I never thought it was such a problem. Unfortunately, it has become a BIG problem.

I dont know if this is worth mentioning but i found some NPD quiz online where it said 0-15 was normal, and celebrities usually scored around 18, and that 20+ should look more into the disorder, I scored 28.. :(
Okay, so i've been doing some reasearch on the "relatedtopics research" thing it gives you at the bottom of the page. I found a closed thread where this member said something very interesting.



"You LACK in mature and normal characteristics.

SO you have to GAIN or LEARN those certain traits that you never learned.

A 5 year old can feel incredibly confident, very special, and proud but that doesn't mean she knows about relationships, communication, problem resolution, empathy, etc. I've heard that people with NPD's emotional maturity can be compared to that of an overly confident 5 year old. It is basically ALL imagined instead of REAL. Are you intellectual - yes you probably are! So use your intellect to HELP yourself.

So you realize you are behind or emotionally retarded. You were held back instead of enhanced or improved by your very own ego or intellect and imagination. To compensate you imagined all this confidence and some of it actually worked eg: fake it until you make it"

this guy sounds extremely harsh.. but he does make a good point. Ontop of all the drama in my childhood, I was also an extremely spoiled child.. so... i guess I'm extremely behind in life, What do you do when you realize that you have no idea who you are? I guess this is why it's driving me crazy, all my life i've had the notion that I was special, that I was above all other people, it explained why I didnt make friends easily, why people thought I was rude... why i simply didnt see things the same as everyone else. but the truth is.. I see everything wrong.. it isnt reality... it's fantasy. How do I cope with this? I dont know how to feel bad for anyone but myself. I mean, yes, I love to read, i've been a bright student, but you cant really learn how to feel something.. can you? can I learn empathy? or would i simply be pretending to feel that but never really feel it? like someone who is male and wants to be female and has a sex change operation to fit the part, but would they ever really be female?? (not to offend anyone in this situation). Will I ever really feel love? real love? real compassion? real empathy? or will I always "fake it 'till i make it"??

maybe this is turning into a depressive topic.





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