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Personality Disorder Message Board

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I am in a loving relationship with a man fro 4 years, and I am having intolerable issues with cheating, I am 23, and was raped at 14 by my first boyfriend who took my virginity. I have always felt I coped remarkably well under the circumstances, and I never let the rape define who I am. However, I have developed Borderline Personality Disorder because of it, and severe anxiety. My problem now, above all others, is that I am never able to say no to a man who wants me. If he is interested I am too, and I will have an affair with him. The affairs are usually brief and intense, going from acquaintances to lovers who cannot exist without the other in a matter of days. They always end in a firey ball of chaos, with hate on both sides after the affair. I feel helpless to stop myself, because even if I try I cant stop. It makes me feel good, and while sitting her with my boyfriend right next to me I can say I dont want to do it again, but in the moment I want nothing else. Has anyone else had this issue? Is it due to my rape, BPD, or is it really just that I may be unhappy in my relationship? I am so confused, and I hate myself.
Hi Jazahb,

I haven't cheated on my boyfriend that I am with now but I have with my Ex cheated with him alot and experianced the same impulsies as you. Part of BPD causes interpersonal relationships and impulsiveness. IMHO I believe it may be down to yor illness. Have you spoken to your boyfriend about this? I know it can be hard but maybe he could try and help.

May I suggest also speaking to your Pdoc regarding this matter :)

All the best
Hi. You have to get that under control or it will negatively affect your futute relationships and happiness. Try talking to a psychologist and know that ultimately you WILL be able to find the strength to do whats best for you and those you love. Peace.

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