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Personality Disorder Message Board


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I was told about 4 years ago from someone online that they think I have BPD, I got mad and we ended up not communicating to one another. I dismissed the idea of me having that until recently. I have done research about the topic and here is what sounds a lot like me, I would love your input about if you think I do sound like I have it or not, I think I may have BPD (KIND advice please):
[U]impulsive actions[/U] - I have to buy a shirt when I am out at the mall
[U]unstable mood[/U] - I can go from being very happy at the slightest thing (like a rainbow) then I can get really depressed in a second.
[U]chaotic relationships[/U] - I have never been in love (I am 36) my last relationship (which was abusive) ended 10 years ago no I have not dated since
[U]Swing wildly from love to hate and back again[/U] - When someone is nice to me and treats me with respect I adore them but when someone is nasty to me (or I feel that they are) I get really angry.
[U]Needy[/U] - I can get this way sometimes
[U]frantically try to avoid real or imagined abandonment[/U] - I am so mortified of rejection cause my parents never wanted kids and they rejected me when I was homeless last year by not allowing me to stay at their home to stay or even allowing me to live in their back yard, in my tent
[U]see things in terms of extremes, either all good or all bad[/U] - my best (and only) friend has said this about me MANY TIMES.
[U]Feelings of emptiness and boredom[/U] - yeah I don't work I am afraid of working cause my last outburst cause I was being outcasted caused me to have a panic attack (and that co-worker called me names that I am not) and I walked out that was over 6 months ago, so I am stuck at home doing nothing feeling worthless. I can't even walk around cause this neighborhood is not safe, I don't drive and there is no bus line near by, my only friend works 40 hours a day and is tired a lot when she gets home, so I feel like a dog who needs to get out when its owner comes home.
[U]Frequent displays of inappropriate anger[/U] - yeah I cuss when I am mad I say things that I know I don't mean, when I feel I am verbally attacked I feel that I must verbally attack back, this is getting worse as I get older.
[U]Intolerance of being alone[/U] - I hate being outcasted and ignored by others I blame myself and wish I was not here when this happens (sometimes I get angry and say things I don't mean).
[U]Abandonment in childhood or adolescence[/U] - my mother is a Narcissistic who Ignores and she never spent quality time with me only to cook meals and give me medication when I got a cold and such. My father worked many hours so he could "buy" us happiness (which I think is null obvously never worked).
[U]Poor communication in the family[/U] - my parents never wanted to deal with any problems I had and they felt that the only way to make me happy was to buy things and I never wanted that. Their answer to any issues going on was "just avoid it, walk the other way" they did not care how hurt I was.
[U]abuse[/U] - emotional neglect and my mother become a drunk when I was 15, she would verbally abuse me.

So I really do think that I have this disorder, as I get older it seems to be getting worse.
I am on medication Xanax and Zoloft nightly (the generic of coarse).
The Zoloft has helped a lot with my OCD
my Xanax has helped me not to be so edgy.

From what I have described would you agree that I have BPD?
Thank you in advance for your KIND answers. :)





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