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Personality Disorder Message Board


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[QUOTE=HD1983;4900573]I hope things get better for us too, I would have to say what really, really hurt me was what that guy I met online ended up doing to me, he came off as Mr.Wonderful for months, wanting to meet me, and then all of a sudden he just stopped answering my emails. He even lied to me and told me that he would never just leave me, in fact he told me that several times over, but then he ended up doing just that.[/quote]Having lived in both a pre-internet world and now, I guess I can see more clearly how unreal and insidious the online world can be. People can all too easily consider other people as merely fantasy characters in a game and just have fun wooing and winning them (getting false ego boosts as they do so), with no intentions of a genuine relationship.

I was actually horrified watching a good friend of mine who was also having relationship woes become thorougly addicted to an online virtual reality game called "Second Life" (and now there's a "Third Life"??) and actually fell in love with a virtual man, a handsome, dashing avatar created by someone somewhere. It actually came to the point that they contacted by phone and come to find out, he was a paraplegic, religious, married man with four kids! He was just "venting his frustrated desires"! My friend was devastated.

I also worked with a colleague who was romanced online by a beguiling guy in Scandinavia - she ended up agreeing to marry him. But after he arrived and married her, and impregnated her, it turned out that he had only tricked her so that he could come to live and work in America, and he started looking for someone else to marry. He was never the sensitive, devoted person he portrayed online - he was an insensitive a**hole and put her through hell.

Online, you can fall in love with a fictitious character...but the real human being who's playing that "wonderful" character can simply grow tired of the game and cut you off by clicking "close" in the game window, so to speak, being too insensitive (so easy to be in this medium) to realize that there is an actual human being out there whose heart may be breaking.

[QUOTE=HD1983;4900573]However, it is very comforting to meet you, because you are just like me, I have never met someone with the same thoughts and fears before.

Right now I will go back to studying Asian decorative arts and antiques, I hope to someday become a certified art and antique appraiser specializing in that field, surely my line of work would help me meet a quality guy, I'll also bury myself in my writing again to occupy my time.[/QUOTE]Good for you!!! Put yourself in a position that you respect and that gives you confidence. Then meet real human guys in the flesh - you are sensitive enough to know whether they are phony or not. And no matter what, there will always be some very nice person out there who thinks YOU are especially attractive just the way you are.

All my best wishes to a fellow "alien". We can make it on this planet! :D

Vocrin





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