It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Pregnancy Message Board


Pregnancy Board Index
Board Index > Pregnancy | 0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


I am a 20 year old female who is about 14 weeks pregnant, and I don't know who the father of my baby is. There could be 2 possibilities, and the fact that I have to wait another 5 1/2 months to find out is driving me crazy. Here's my story ..
Since the beginning of this year I have had really irregular periods ranging from 31-44 days in a cycle. The first day of my last period was July 9. I had sex with a friend of mine on the 20th, which was the 11th day of my cycle. Because I was heavily intoxicated during this encounter (it never would have happened if I was sober, because this guy is a friend of mine who I hung out with on numerous occasions but was never physically attracted to) I have had to rely on his account of what happened that night. He says that when we had sex, he first used a condom, and then took it off midway through, because "it was taking too long" .. then he said that he put it back on (the same condom) when he felt that he was near ejaculation, and finished in the condom.
Also, on that same night of this stupid drunken encounter, I met the guy who is my current BF, and who is the second possibility of being the father of my baby. We started having sex on the 24th of July, and every day consecutively after that using no protection and with him ejaculating inside of me. I know it was a stupid thing for me to do, but for some reason I had the idea in my head that I couldn't get pregnant because ever since I have been sexually active, there have been many times when I had unprotected sex (for 8 months straight with an ex BF of mine) and it never happened. After about a month and a half of not having my period, my BF noticed that I was getting my period and asked me to take a pregnancy test. I was fully expecting it to come out negative because I've had previous periods in the past that came over 40 days apart. Unfortunately, there were 2 pink lines instead of 1.
I had an ultrasound done on August 30, and told my doctor about the situation I'm in about not knowing for sure who the father of my baby is. The ultrasound showed that I was exactly 7 weeks along, which put my estimated conception date at July 26 and due date at April 15. She discussed with me the possibility that the first guy I had sex with could still possibly be the father, because the ultrasound could be off by +/- a few days (although ultrasounds done earlier are more accurate than later ones regarding the age of the fetus), and that even though the 14th day of my cycle would have been on the 23rd, which is when I would most likely be fertile, that not everyone ovulates on the 14th day, especially women who have irregular periods.
So now I'm stuck. I have been miserable for the past 3 months agonizing over what am I going to do. At first, I was scared to tell my BF that he might not be the father, because the other person who could be, is someone that he's not very fond of, and someone who I've always denied having sex with when he's questioned me about it. I considered having an abortion and telling my BF that I had a miscarriage, but I realized that I just couldn't go through with it, and that I would hate myself for the rest of my life for giving up my baby just because I didn't know who its father was.
Just about a week ago, I ended up telling my BF that the baby might not be his, but I lied about who the other father could possibly be. I still haven't told my mom that I'm pregnant, although I really want to because I really need her help and advice on what to do with my work/medical insurance/financial situation. It's just that we're not very close and I've never felt that I could tell her about these kinds of things, and she's a very non-confrontational type of person, although I know that she will help me when I eventually get the courage to tell her. I have also considered getting a prenatal DNA test done, where I would have to have an amniocentesis done (which would cost me $1000 for the doctor's and lab fees because it's not covered by insurance), but when I told my BF that I was willing to pay to get the test done but that there would be a small risk of losing the baby, he said he would rather me not have it done and that he would still take responsibility for the baby and have his name put on the birth certificate. The thing is, we have only been together for 3 months, so I'm not even sure if he'll still be around when the baby is born, and if he is, if he would really feel the same way about it as if it were biologically his. He already has a 2 year old daughter with another girl, but he doesn't get to see her, because of some legal issues, so that's why I think he is willing to take care of my baby, because he missed out on being a father to his own daughter. We are both working full time right now and struggling to pay off debts that we've acquired. I know it's gonna be really hard adding a baby to the picture, but I'm willing to sacrifice having a normal 20 year old life to be a mother.
I just feel so bad that I got myself into this situation, and I know it makes me look really bad, especially to the people who my BF has already bragged about me having his baby to. I'm scared that once the baby is born, it will come out looking nothing like him (the 2 guys look nothing alike), and people will think badly of me, like I cheated on him or slept around a lot. I never thought I'd be one of these girls that you see on talk shows who have to get paternity tests done to find out who their baby's father is. These 2 guys are the only 2 that I've had sex with in the past year, but it just so happened that it all happened at the wrong time.
Sorry this is so long ... but to finally get to my point, I guess what I really want is somebody's anybody's opinion on the chances of my BF being the father of my baby. I really want it to be his biologically, so that I can put this all behind me, and forget about the mistakes and bad choices I made in the past. I want us to be a family and for him to be able to look at my baby and see himself in him/her, and be proud of being a daddy, instead of having to take on the responsibility of another's man's child.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:21 AM.





2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!