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Cancer: Prostate Message Board


Cancer: Prostate Board Index


Hello to all that has lost their father to Prostate Cancer.... I would like to begin my story by telling you ladies of such a great father I had... I am 33 years old and to my 72 year old dad I am just shy of 3 years old the way he cares and love me... I have 2 kids as he adores as well.. My dad David is a harddd working man, whom is a farmer and a awesome mechanic... He had a pair of hands that if a flower was dying or a car had a rattle he'd had the perfect solution for it to become better.... He watched the news every single day around the same time 5pm-7pm... and I would always make it home just before the ending and that would be the topic of the day every day!!!! if I were a bit late, he would call and assure nothing was happening on the road back home...If he were preparing dinner he would call me or one of my siblings and let us pick the menu…
1997 my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer... He and my mom decided not to scare me or my 6 other siblings as they bared the battle alone, without a facial change to worried, or a tear of fear in their eyes.. .... Not sure what happened between 1997 and 2008 besides he had a surgery to his prostate... One day upon coming home, I received a phone call from him as he was admitted to the hospital earlier that day... He said to me "Monica I have bone cancer" I replied to him "Dad stop kidding" as jokes was something he loved to play on anyone... he repeated it again... and my heart fell into pieces as I tried to remain strong. I said to him come on daddy.... he never commented again, as our conversation went on with he will be ok, there are so many treatments and studies out there..
My mom met him when she was 18 years old and now 59, she vowed to her vowels up unto the day he died burring him on her 59th birthday 04/30/2011... I thank her so very much for being the superwoman for us and his true Love which she was.....
This year 2011 in late February he was admitted back into the hospital where he received a nephrostomy tube..which is a tube thats plugged into his back to help your uters of the kidney... As he stated it was uncomfortable for him at first .. then a few days passed he begin to be ok with it, but with the same token he was a little sad. I would often joke and say hold unto your purse dad, when he had to move around, or when one of the grandkids wanted to play with him. A month went by and he had became sooooo weak at times, and times when id appear to walk into the room where he awaited, he didn’t seem to notice me.... until I said “dad I’m here” or, walked before him....so to cut the story a bit short, I’ll tell you about his last hospital visit which he was admitted back into the hospital for back pain, and stomach pain... Unknowledge I was about a few things I was told he were having TIA strokes..he seemed to forget things and the conversations him and I shared changed drastically to mostly silence....
Another week went by in the hospital as I stopped by the same way I did when he was at home he was no longer watching the news anymore or shows that he loved to watch over and over (I dreamed of Jeannie, Sanford and sons etc) anything TV land would play he loved it... one afternoon I couldn’t make it by as I had to see my chiropractor, and my mom called me and said your dad says he couldn’t believe you didn’t stop by today?? So I made a reply and said I”ll be there first thing in the morning before going to work. On April 12 I woke up earlier than usual and made my way to Baptist hospital... He was there looking normal, not losing a pound at all... however his eating habits weren’t the same... I spent the morning there before going off to work and he stared off into mid air as the tv was blasting with news and he wasn’t interested at all.....so shortly I said Dad I’m going to go off to work now, I’ll see you when I get off....right before leaving he says “ohhhh I’m hot.” My mom instructed me to turn the air up, so I did as I was told. About a minute or so latter I said, ok daddy I’m leaving I’ll see you... he looked at me and his eyes opened and mouth did very wide as if he were having a seizure... I started to scream for the nurse as they all came running in, and he was then looking one way.... The DR. begin ordering test and stating “STAT” at the end of each one... His mouth was soo dry and they would call his name over and over and he stared into one area... They wheeled him out and my mom followed.. I proceeded on to work, and awaited on her reply to me.... 45 minutes latter my mom called me in tears.... "Davids cancer has speeded to his kidney, liver, and one lung" I immediately clocked out and went back to the hospital, at this time he received a shot of dilated which literally put him out before the nurse could wash her hands and walk away.. That day dad slept from 11am-9pm as family started to pour in soooooo surprised how sick he was and NEVER once complained or showed it... And I’m talking about a Dad who I see EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! his looks, expressions not ONCE changed to alarm me, until that day I was leaving for work from the hospital...
April 14 his oncologist did more test and advised my mom it was now on both lungs, and they will no longer give him Chemo.....and Hospice would be his best option.... Man ohhh mannn MY WORLD left that very day... he started whispering his words to me that night "thank you" and I cried oh I cried...but never once did I think it would get the best of him..... The next morning my mom face had changed in a way I never knew her...her happiness, love and caring smile vanished into disappointment and traced with fear.......As the days grew my siblings, I and mom took dedicated turns without arguments or debates of who will stay the night with dad at the hospital... in the days to follow he began to get soooo much pain that he balled with tears as if he was about a year old... the pain was sooo bad they began to give him dilated and morphine every 4-6 hours.... so sleeping became soooooooooo regular when you seen him awake, you never wanted to blink......and the time he was awake he could no longer hold a spoon, or pull himself up in bed.....
Hospice came in and we all agreed we can use the extra help especially the knowledge of a nurse being in his present for 24 hours... all documents were signed and on April 22, 2011 he was discharged and prescribed Morphine 10mg, Provisec, laxipro, Lorazapam etc… hospice bought him home that very day as I arrived the same time he did in the ambulance..so ironic the time me and him share during news 6pm...We were soooo happy to have him back home, as we knew he would get better...
There was a lovely nurse that arrived ten minutes after him who stayed there over night on Thursday....She noticed around 10pm that he needed oxygen and she administered that for him.... so again we thought it was just another stair we had to climb.... the morning came, I stopped by moms house and my sister had just prepared pancakes for him... she asked that I feed him, as the nurse wanted to, but I felt the need to.... He ate only two tiny pieces and shook his head no for every other piece I wanted him to have...so that morning I had work and pass the plate to my younger sister who tried to finish feeding him... literally minutes as I walked away she called me on the cell phone and said Daddy wants you... I got back out of my car and went to see him and he mumbled veryyyy low.. I placed my ear closer and I couldn’t make out the words... I touched his hand which was cold to touch but again I thought maybe because the air condition was on and he was cold. I said ohh daddy I wish I knew what you were saying, and placed his hands under the cover... before leaving I said "Bye daddy, I’ll see you after work?'" I then proceeded on to work as it was good Friday we had a very short day... I got off by noon and back to my moms house.... I walked into the room as I would do every day, and found him sleeping, so I took my usual seat on the bed and talked with the nurse about her family and a wedding she was soon to attend in Jamaica..such a nice lady she really was... a hour passed and he didn’t wake... so I went outside where my sisters and brothers were and we begin to clean the yard as we decided to have a early Easter egg hunt for all my nieces and nephews (there are 14 of them) after cleaning, I went home. Later that night my mom called and said my dads blood pressure was extremely high if I recall like 280/something….So a Dr was called out immediately...I gave it thirty minutes and called back.. she said the dr says he is becoming very agitated that was the reason of the high pressure rising... they then gave him a dose of lorazapam and it starting coming down... the following morning I gathered my kids to go to my moms house and my sister which is older than me as I am the fifthe born child. She asked that I come over Dads eyes look very funny almost like “Fish eyes” very cloudy and he is breathing funny... I was sooo afraid, I said "he is going to be ok." She then called my mom and told her that dad was waiting for her and she doesn’t know if he would wait until she return home by 2:30pm. My mom called me in tears and said, I am on the way home to talk to David....I then gathered this is really bad... I headed over there and my mom was then laying across the bed, and my dad had a snore of what I thought "was sooooooo unusual" I said "Mom, why he sound like that?" she replied because he is in a deep sleep but in a very low sobering voice... I rubbed his head over and over, as he didnt wake..... His arms were cold, but again I thought of his blood thinners as he would always be cold, but never thought cold to touch meant near death.... I covered him again and proceed outside for the egg hunt which was about to begin...The egg hunt had started and was quickly over... My niece came to the door and said Grandma, they need you in the room... I listened but I didn’t want to listen... a part of me became sooooo afraid, I asked my aunt to go and check on my dad... My aunt immediately got up and my patients grew short and my fear cleared... I then got up and when I walked down the hall to my parents room I couldn’t describe what I felt.. but by the time I reached his bed.... I stood at his feet and my mom was holding his hands.. he stared at me as his life left right before me......by the cries of my mom, all the kids and my other sisters and brothers came in to witness our dad very last breath.........it was a feeling, and sounds I will NEVER forget the day before Easter Sunday...... It hurts me soooooo bad until I can only say there are NOOOO words to describe my pain... it has been 20 days and not a day has went by and i haven’t thought of him...My mom has a look of loneliness, sorrow, and pitiful which designs her outlook of life... Within the past 20 days was her birthday which we buried him on April 30, 2011 and mother’s day May 8, 2011 has drawn her in an unhappy state... tearyy eyes much love to all..:angel:





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