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Sounds like my worst nightmare. I'm sorry but I can't in good conscience help encourage you to stay because I think it's a terrible mistake for anyone to stay in an abusive relationship with someone so paranoid and controlling.
Get out of this relationship, as your boyfriend obviously sounds very controlling. You have a right, to have friends and if you stay in this relationship, things may only get worse. Don't let him win, take back control of your life.
You seem to still think there is something you can do or say that will magically turn him into a loving boyfriend who would never hurt you. Unfortunately for you, that's never going to happen. He has been repeatedly showing you that he is an abusive, paranoid, controlling manipulator but you still just keep thinking there's a way to change him. This relationship has zero benefit to you at all. [b]Zero benefit to you at all.[/b] You are getting nothing out of this while he gets everything he wants without fear of you leaving. He's got it made while you're being shoved in the dirt, on your face, daily.

As a result of this abusive relationship that you're in, you end up crying every day, having to defend yourself against his asinine accusations every day, you've lost all of your friends so you have no one to support you through this, and to top it all off, you're the only one working so he's mooching off of you while he is abusing you. You're being a doormat and you're letting him walk all over you.

You say you "literally" can't leave him but you haven't provided any reason worth staying in this miserable hell of existence. This situation will only get worse and escalate to physical abuse against you and then what are you going to do?

You are already in a very abusive relationship. This is mental, psychological, emotional, and verbal abuse. And it happens to you every single minute of every single day. Every minute of every day he is abusing you. And you're just sitting there letting him and also paying his way through life. [B]Why do you hate yourself so much that you would rather continue getting abused daily? [/b]

You are voluntarily choosing to live in this nightmarish hell of an existence. What would you tell your sister or cousin or best friend if they were living in such hell everyday? I'm sure you would tell them they need to leave as soon as possible. So why is it any different for you? Why are you allowing yourself to be his chump, paying for his every need while he constantly stabs you in the back repeatedly with his vile words?

It's time for you to change your perspective and realize that he is mentally ill and you will never change him. And you have to start choosing your feelings over his before it's too late and he starts using you as a literal punching bag instead of an emotional one as he has been all this time.





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