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Bare with me because this story may be a little long but I need some advice.

So I have been friends with this girl since 9th grade in high school. She grew up in an abusive household where her parents both physically and mentally abused her, because of this she cut herself on a regular basis. I was always there for her helped her to get help and encouraged her to talk to someone. I gave her emotional support on a regular basis because I cared about her.
Our friendship was always very one sided. I would always bring her to school in the morning, despite the fact that she made me late a few times. I helped her with numerous things. I brought her places, bought her things, let her borrow things, did many favors for her. Anytime I would ask for a favor from her she would make up some excuse by saying she's busy or she simply cannot. Back then in high school it never bothered me much. Our friendship was on and off. We would argue or not agree on something then not talk for a few days or a week, then we would be friends again.
Fast forward a few years. Tracy got married last year. Since then she had a baby. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding as well. I helped her make the bouquets for all of the bridesmaids, always went over her house, she lives 45 minutes away, my husband and I helped them move all of their stuff into their new apartment, I helped her with her centerpieces on her wedding day, was always available when she needed to talk or needed advice. When she was pregnant I was the only friend to show up at her baby shower, my husband and I brought our truck to pick up the crib for the baby and bring it back to her house.

This July I got married. Probably since I been engaged I don't think she had been to my house once. I invited her over numerous times and she would always tell me no I'm busy. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding. She did not even show up to my engagement party. She was not even going to come to my bridal shower, I had to basically beg her to come. I needed help with my wedding favors and I had asked for her help numerous times and she never once came here to help me out. She ruined my friendship with one of my friends, who was also a bridesmaid in my wedding, my friend stopped being my friend (and a bridesmaid 2 months before my wedding) because the other friend saying some nasty things to her. She acted as if she had done me a favor and never once apologized for ruining that friendship. The rehearsal for my wedding she was 30 minutes late the priest was furious. The day of my wedding she was also late getting to the church, the priest was mad again. I had asked all the bridesmaids to meet me at the hotel I was getting ready at. I asked them to be there at 12pm for getting ready pictures. She kept texting me all morning asking me why she had to be there at that time. She also kept asking me why she even had to come to the hotel I was staying in at all ( I had told her why numerous times before the wedding and even a few days before the wedding.) When she got to the hotel she did not seem very happy to be there at all, no smile or nothing. I got the vibe from her that asking her to come there was a nuisance to her.

Literally the day after my wedding she sends me a text telling me how pointless weddings are and how she doesn't understand why people even have them. I said I don't regret a thing about my wedding and she went on saying they are so stupid for just one day. Then she continued to tell me how her daughter stole the show from me and that everyone loved her and no one was even paying attention to me.

After the wedding she got really strange with me. ( we used to talk all the time ) well I noticed she wasn't texting or talking to me that much and whenever she would text me it would be to criticize me or ask me a million questions about why I am making a desicion that I am making. She messaged me to ask me to send her all the pictures of her daughter only from my wedding. After that she didn't talk to me for a few days. The next time she messages me is to ask me a question.

**side note** ((when I first told her about me having anxiety issues she never tried to offer her help or advice she basically would always shoot me down and tell me I need to get "over it". Anyway a few weeks later she tells me she needs to apologize to me. I said why and she said because when I told her I have anxiety she looked down upon me and said I was weak and basically bad mouthed me because of it. ))

She sends me a text saying "I have a question about your anxiety"
She basically messaged me to criticize me and my choices in life. (I am working right now) She was telling me how her coworker has anxiety and that she needs to calm her down before work everyday. But her friend says that her anxiety isn't stopping her from making 40k a year. Then she continues to tell me that I need to work because unfortunately I cannot survive without working. She says but its your life your choices none of my business. I replied yes I know thanks..and that was all.
On another occasion she told me I was stupid because I was not taking my husbands last name and removing mine but I wanted to keep my last name and his. I have a reason why I wanna keep my last name because my brother cannot have children and will not continue my families last name. She told me that I could still have my husbands name while having my maiden name known and that I was stupid for not just changing it entirely because that is what she did.

I distanced myself from her after the wedding a little bit because every time I would talk to her she would make me feel bad about myself and I hated it. I felt like complete crap all the time because she was constantly trying to put me down. She was mentally draining me. I would message her just to say how are you and your family doing. Shortly after the conversation would turn to criticism towards me.

She would constantly ask me questions then question why I was doing what I was doing constantly...
"Why aren't you going on your honeymoon right after your wedding"
"Why aren't you using your wedding money to pay off all your debt"
"Why are you keeping your last name and his together"
"Why aren't you on normal birth control"
"Explain to me your birth control usage again" ( I have told her this numerous times and even still it is none of your business)
"Well why are you doing that for birth control it isn't a very good idea"
"Why isn't your name changed yet"
"Why did your husband get a new job"
"How much is he making"
These are just SOME examples of things she would ask me on a regular basis..sometimes asking me the same thing more than once to see if I was lying...

Yesterday she messages me saying that I fell off the face of the earth, even though for the past month I have been the ONLY one making conversation with her. I said I been busy working, looking for new jobs and spending my time after work with my husband and no phones. (Everything she seems to need an explanation for and frankly its none of her business!!!) She says well ok I get it but I have a full time job, I cook, I clean, I spend time with my daughter, and my husband and still have time to talk to my friends...which is complete nonsense because I have been messaging her this past month. It seems she is trying to blame me for her faults to put me down and to make me feel like crap. I am so tired of it.
Why do I constantly need to explain myself to her and feel like I am walking on eggshells? Why do I feel like I ned to answer her questions "correctly" This is not what a friendship should feel like. After her long text message yesterday (it seems she only messages me to put me down) I have not yet responded to her and I don't know if I should. After the short conversation with her yesterday I was anxious the entire rest of the day.

A friend should help you out in hard time, not knock you down, if you have a mental disorder like anxiety you don't tell the person they are weak or look down upon them because of it. As a friend you try to help them find ways to cope, ways to be stronger, you do not continue to knock them down to make yourself feel better.

I am happy and content with my life. I am happy with the choices I made.

I know that was long but I really needed to get this off my chest..Should I even respond to her text message (which will most likely lead to a fight) or should I just leave it as is and not respond at all? Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation like this?

((BTW this has happened before where we stopped talking because she accused me of not wanting to talk to her))) I am at my point where I just cannot deal with this mental abuse anymore, it is really wearing me out. I am not going to put my all into a friendship where she only gives me maybe 15% if even that.

Thanks for listening!





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