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Hi everyone! this is my first post in this forum...

I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. We are both 23. He lives in London and I'm 2 hours away so we only see each other every other weekend.

It's been a very rocky road, we broke up twice for 6 months. In June this year, he decided to get back with me. He was very sincere about it and apologised for all his faults in the past. It was all nice for the first 3 months we got back together, but I was really hurt from the past and everything he done before, and I started getting anxious and putting all past blames on him.(it was both of our faults so i should have taken responsibility as well) He handled it really well and was patient with me despite how crazy I got some times.

I gradually got over most things from the past, but three weeks ago he flipped out and said he couldn't take it anymore. He told me that I have made him feel like a horrible person, which I do understand and shouldn't have done.

He wanted to break up with me again because he couldn't take any more questioning or blaming. I had to beg and convince him to stay (bad idea i know), but he did in the end. And since then I have changed and stopped the questions and blames.

At the same time, he has been looking for a job for months now and hasn't found one. I know he feels very frustrated about that, and not having much money. His life hasn't been going right for him recently.
(he did partly blame me for not having a job because our arguments lasted hours and hours and he had to be there for me)

It has been 3 weeks since he flipped out on me, and since then he hasn't been attentive/loving/caring as he was before. I understand his circumstances but it has been really hard for me. Everyday is a battle for me to be patient and optimistic about our relationship.

I call him sometimes to see how he's doing, he still tells me he loves me, but he is very down about not having a job. These days he doesn't usually contact me unless i reach out.

We met up last weekend and he did tell me that he does want to be with me. So i do hope that he isn't unsure about our relationship.

I'm giving him alot of space right now, as I do understand that he prefers to deal with his problems himself. But it kills me inside because I don't know what is going to happen.

Should I just be patient and hope that when he gets a job things will fall into place? Or has our relationship run its course?

I feel so depressed and anxious everyday but I do try and focus on myself instead of thinking about this too much.

Thanks for reading!!

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