It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=GroceryStoreGuy;5405233]Blech. Everybody on here is apparently an expert on who I am.

Maybe it's because there is competition for any given girl, and chances are usually good she's taken or interested in someone else. Or maybe it's because it's NOT a "numbers game" after all, and there's more to it like chance, and any b.s. reason you could think of that a girl wouldn't be into you.

But, no, it's my attitude.
/sarcasm[/QUOTE]

Dear G-Guy,

From the title of your thread and your description of what has been going on, it seems that you obsessed about a woman, she didn't show an interest in you, and so then your mind created a string of downers that may not have a single thing to do with why she was not interested in you.

Maybe her choice has nothing whatsoever to do with you at all, but you took it personally, and did let it bring you down. Didn't you share that yourself?

That you call it BS that she was not interested in you reveals an attitude that every lady not giving you a chance has no right to her own feelings, wishes and choices for her own life.

Maybe the ladies you took an interest in have their own private reasons that they did not open up to you and they feel it is none of your business.

Such as -

Maybe she has a deformity you cannot see that she is ashamed of.

Maybe she already had a crush on someone else she hoped would show an interest in her and she is waiting for that guy.

Maybe she has an STD and doesn't want anyone to know.

Maybe she is already married.

Maybe she found you interesting but chose to turn away because she believes in not mixing her private life with her work life (which I happen to believe is [B]key[/B] in the work place).

Maybe you are just not her type.

Maybe she went through a bad break-up and you remind her of her ex.

Maybe she is attracted to a different body type or you remind her of her brother.

Maybe she thinks if you really knew her you would be turned off.

Maybe she is afraid of close relationships.

Maybe she is afraid you wouldn't like her if you knew what she is really like.

Maybe she has some wounds from being dumped/cheated on, and she is not ready to try a new relationship.

Maybe she is afraid that you only think about yourself and what you want.

Do you really know who she really is?

Only going by things you wrote, she seems to be a female body to you. Which is not attractive to any woman that takes her life seriously. Females that respect themselves can see when a guy is lonely and horny. Unless she is a loose and desperate woman she is not going find that attractive or a reason to get to know you.

My idea is that you quit looking for a girlfriend altogether and learn to let relationships grow naturally. And, see where it goes rather than to try to make it happen.

Stop trying to "find" a woman...we are not objects to be found, like a pretty stone you find on a path and pick up. We have our own interests and aspirations, hang-ups, fears, and insecurities. We are about who we are, not about who you are.

Be the normal bloke that I suspect you are, and get to know people, what they want, who they are. If it's right and a lady opens up to you and a relationship grows out of that, then she might decide you are worthwhile.

First you have to act like 'the one', by not trying to get close to anyone that doesn't even know you, or is clearly not interested. Obsessing about someone that turns away from you isn't attractive. Going about your own life and having your own interests will attract the right woman.

I don't believe you really want a woman that is wrong for you. You want a lady that wants you for who you are, right? Then focus on getting your life together, save money, build a career, show you have confidence and look out for yourself and your own family & friends. Then a wise woman will see you have a lot to offer, and even if she may have sights on someone else, she might have a friend that she would want to introduce to you.

Get involved with building up your own life, and then at the right time you will be interesting to the right woman. If all you have to offer is your own desire, well, a thinking woman will see that like too big of a project.

Don't glom onto any female because you like her looks and she seems available. When you don't get to know a female as a person so you can find out if she really is interested in you it is an insult to any self-respecting lady. No self-respecting lady wants to feel like a body and any body will do.

Rein in your personal desires and learn to just be a friendly and caring guy, which I think probably you really are.

Show an interest in females just as people, and quit trying to catch one. If we have self-respect we don't want to be a bird in a cage, or a body to hold onto.

Hey, another thought that might help you learn & understand an important fact about females (which is that we are not like you males). Get a puppy (make sure you learn about different breeds).

Learn what [U]the puppy[/U] is really like and what IT needs and how to be there for it. Dogs seem human almost but they have a totally different psyche than humans: how humans normally communicate means something completely different to dogs. It's the same thing with human males & females.

I have two dogs raised from being puppies, and I think raising a puppy is about the best training for human relationships there is. Bonus: it's a non-threatening way to get to know other people.

Your posts reveal you don't understand we females, and BTW, most males don't, so don't feel like the lone ranger.

I suspect you are a very normal male. ;)





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:57 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!