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I don't know if my morale compass is so wrong that I need help from others to tell me what the right thing to do is. But here goes. Apologies for the very long post.

I met a guy 5 months ago and we instantly hit it off. If there is such a thing as ideal in a human being, he was that to me. We had all the symptoms of "the falling in love--honeymoon--phase." Right from the very beginning, he told me that he was going to get married this year, but I didn't know that he already had a girl in mind (yes, I must be super dumb). We talked every single day, and we slept together as well. Then he asked me to marry him, but I said no because I thought it was silly; we have not been together long enough. He told me that he could completely be himself with me without any inhibitions and that it was so easy for him to fall in love with me even without even realizing it. It was just as easy for me to fall in love with him as well.

Well, one day, he told me that he was going to marry another girl. He said that he was serious about getting married this year (whatever his reasons are), and he was going to marry her. Turns out I know the girl as well; she was my classmate in high school and we were friends for a few years. Seems they have been going around for quite some time. The girl had a very rough childhood and he can't bring himself to leave her. She is the complete opposite of me, and personally, I can never bring myself to hurt her as well, or be the reason for breaking up a relationship.

Anyway, when she came into the picture, I knew that he and I would never become a thing. But instead of staying away from each other, we still talked over the phone. We stopped sleeping together though. He expressed how he tried not to, but fell in love with me anyway, even though the other girl was there, and I did fall for him as well. I am ok with him getting married now, because I won't want to actually marry a person who is a cheater. But we haven't exactly cut ties either. Our excuse is that we are so compatible on so many levels that it would be a shame to let everything go just because we can't be in a love relationship. I am so confused here mostly because i clearly love him, and he tells me that he loves me even though he is engaged to be married now. It genuinely feels like he does love me, so I am not going to question that, but I may be highly delusional as well. This is all so frustrating. Can any one of you, wise ones, tell me if I should run high and far or actually attempt to be friends with him? Has anyone ever become friends with someone they have been intimate with, and even loved as well? Or am i just playing along with him and abetting in the cheating? Does us keeping in touch count as cheating?

Please advice.

Sincerely yours.
WELCOME!
I absolutely LOVE that you know in your heart that this guy is not of good character and so he's not marriage material for you. I also LOVE that you stopped sleeping with him! You're a smart cookie.
My advice? Disconnect altogether. I think that's what is best for his marriage to work.
You sound like a good catch, so start looking elsewhere. It's the right thing to do not only for his marriage, but for yourself. It's too tricky to be friends like this.





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