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I was married for a very long time. I have been dating Matt for the past 10 months. He's the first man I've been seriously involved with since I was in my 20's and met my ex husband. I have 4 children from that marriage. Matt has 2. Mine are still in their teens and very well adjusted. My marriage was abusive and they were relieved when I divorced their dad. It brought stability into all of our lives. Matt has been divorced for over 10 years and his children are adults (over 20). One is away at college and lives with his mom. The other lives with Matt. He's 25.

The problem is Matt's 25 year old acts like he's 15. He has a job but not a career. He has had 3 or 4 jobs in the last 2 years. He lives at home. He doesn't pay rent, food, utilities etc. He doesn't do anything around the house unless Matt asks (insists) he do. He watches TV or plays on his gaming system in his room when home. He doesn't have a girlfriend and comes and goes as he pleases. And when he's home, he's rude. He ignores me. Doesn't even acknowledge me. He's rude to his dad. He usually answers in gruff one word answers. He argues, complains and acts like an entitled whiny tween. It's very hard for me to keep quiet. I hate being around him.

I've tried everything to engage him but nothing works. He's miserable all of the time. The biggest issue is the way he talks to his dad. I find it disrespectful. He is filled with negativity and challenges his father on everything. Nothing his dad does is right yet he still mooches off him. I find it extremely difficult to even be in the same room as him. He's just not a likeable person.

Matt and I get along great. We never fight. We agree on most things. He gives and I take and vice versa. When we are together it's all good. When his son is around, I get anxious and stressed. I've never heard one nice thing come out of his mouth. Matt and I only argue over one thing and it's his son. He and the son fight frequently. Sometimes it's about me and the disrespect the son shows me. Other times it's between them. The son is a taker. We've reached a bit of a standstill. He knows the son needs to move out but he doesn't have the "balls" to kick him out. The son manipulates his father and won't leave on his own. There's a power struggle and I'm stuck in the middle. Matt knows his son needs to go but he doesn't feel he can make him leave. He feels guilty. I'm afraid the son is going to destroy our relationship. I just don't know what to do. I've never been in this position. any advice???

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