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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi, Dean, and welcome.
This is a very complicated relationship. You have mental illness and are a recovering alcoholic. Your friend is pregnant by you and says she is still in love with her ex but that you should fight for her. I appreciate the fact that you want to continue to grow and improve your life with, or without her, but soon there will be a baby in the picture that you are the father of. With that comes responsibility.
One thing I know is that you cannot rush trust. It's like trying to rush the healing of your arm.... you just need to be patient and not make things worse. I think that maybe, you need to decide if you JUST want this woman as your friend. Being sexual with her makes her more than a friend. Do you love her? Would you like to marry her in the future? These are all things you need to consider.
Was any medication recommended for your BPD and are you taking it?
If you were my son, I would want you to focus on YOU first, because your sobriety and your mental health is what is most essential. I think you also need to get clear on what this girl wants from you. Does she want you to marry her and be the father of her child in a day to day way? Is that something that you want? May I ask how old you both are?

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