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Dear queen,

When a relationship is toxic, we need to consider if we did anything to poison it, and not expect others to just get over it if or when we apologize. Maybe that person wanted to forgive you but for good reason she cannot trust you anymore. Demands and anger, esp. when we have wronged someone else do not endear us to that person. Anger is our own problem to deal with. You were a trusted friend and you made some very serious mistakes in judgement that are not easy or quick to overcome. Personally I would never trust someone again that did to me what you had done.

Do you expect attention exactly when and in the exact way that you want it or else you are angry? You seem to forget that you started the problem by your own choices and now you expect others to be available to you when and how you want. Real life just does not work that way.

Drunkenness is just not a good excuse for accepting attention from a friend's boyfriend, and then even though you apologized, instead of understanding that it was you that breached the relationship, and giving it enough time to heal, you got into a fight about it. Others tried to let it go, but now you demand attention how and when you want it. If you can't see that you are not acting like an adult to them I agree you should move on and let them go.

I think you are judging the friends because you are unhappy with what you did to ruin the relationships because you are who first breached the trust. Perhaps some counseling to help you to take responsibility for your part in what went wrong would help you let go of this. Your anger doesn't helping you any.

Love,
[QUOTE=YaYagirl;5471978]Dear queen,

Maybe that person wanted to forgive you but she cannot trust you anymore. Demands and anger, esp. when we have wronged someone else do not endear us to that person. Anger is our own problem to deal with. You were a trusted friend and you made some serious mistakes in judgement that are not easy or quick to overcome. Personally I would never trust someone again that did what you had done.

Do you expect attention exactly when and in the exact way that you want it or else you are angry? You seem to forget that you started the problem by your own choices and now you expect others to be available to you when and how you want. Real life just does not work that way.

Drunkenness is just not a good excuse for accepting attention from a friend's boyfriend, and then even though you apologized, instead of understanding that it was you breached the relationship and giving it enough time to heal, you got into a fight about it. Others tried to let it go, but now you demand attention how and when you want it. If you can't see that you are not acting like an adult to them I agree you should move on and let them go.

Our emotions are not someone else's problem. Perhaps some counseling to help you see your part in what went wrong would help you let go of this. The anger isn't helping you any.

Love,[/QUOTE]

I understand why she was upset but he wasn't her boyfriend at the time. And I understand why she'd be mad at me, but it seems like a lot of the anger is directed towards just me when she should be mad at him to. But they say a woman will stick up for her man, even when he's wrong. If she's still upset about, I wish she would try to talk to me about it instead of avoiding me. If you don't want to be friends just tell me and I'll leave you be. I have a therapist and she said no matter what a man does the woman doesn't want to see the wrong in him. She also was accepting of my apology after it happen and said that everything was fine, she didn't act differently. She only got mad when she made comments about an ACTUAL relationship I was in and I brought up that he hit on me. They had no right to be upset with me anyway that day we had a fight. I was busy, I told them that and they got upset anyway. Trying to make me the bad guy as always.





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