It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[QUOTE=pbak;5477748]I apologize in advance for the length of this message. I have been dating the man of my dreams for a little over 15 months. We moved in together (at my home) after dating about 4 months. He was in a terrible marriage and moved out of his house with his wife at that time.

So for the past year, we have been living together. It has been AMAZING. We have had so much fun - and really no problems or arguments to speak of. He treats me better than I ever thought it was possible to be treated. I believe we truly love each other - and I am happier than I ever thought possible.We have talked extensively about getting married, spending our lives together, even the possibility of children (even though I am now 38 and he is 37). Here in our state, though, you have to be legally separated for 365 days before you can file for divorce. Well, February 10 will be 1 year since he left his wife.

Earlier this week, he met with his wife to have an initial conversation about the divorce (division of property, etc). When he got home, he was very upset. After telling me about the conversation, he tells me that he wants to move out and go live with a male friend. He says that he loves me, and that he has never been as happy as he is with me.

He says that he wants to keep dating me and eventually get back together - but that he needs time and space to work through the divorce and feelings he hasn't resolved with his wife (he adds that he doesn't want to be with her any more and had good reason to leave - he just regrets not taking time before moving in with me.)

I wish I could understand what is going on. We have truly had the best year ever breaks my heart for him to leave. I have been completely depressed and unbelievably sad since Monday night. I cannot even imagine not having him in my life on a daily basis. I am so afraid that this will not work - and I am afraid that this is really just his way of breaking up with me (without trying to hurt me).

Is it possible that this will work out? And if it does, how will I ever be able to trust that he won't leave again?

Should I keep fighting and try to convince him to stay or should I just let him go and hope for the best?

As an update: we moved out the majority of his things this weekend. He moved in with a male friend and put the bulk of his belongings in a storage unit. He will not be officially moved out until this weekend, when he will take his clothing and personal items to the guy's apartment. He took a few of my belongings/furniture with him to the apartment and plans to leave a few personal things at my house - again, with the understanding that this is "temporary."

I just wish I knew for sure that this was or was not going to work out - and if it does work out, WHEN???[/QUOTE]

I'm certainly not trying to be mean, just honest. Don't hold your breath and get on with your life. After he left the previous relationship, he never gave himself time to remedy his feelings for his ex at that point. They say that you need one month of time for every year that you're together to get over someone. Men tend to jump into another relationship so they don't have to deal with the hurt from the previous one. I don't believe that you mentioned how long he was married? Also, are there any children involved? I had an ex that was a needy guy. He went from one relationship to the other in very short periods of time. I sent him packing after I realized that I didn't have strong enough feelings for him. Found him another house and we stayed friends for a year. Went for dinner here and there or drinks, no affection whatsoever. At the end of the year, he told me he was still in love with me. I told him that we could no longer speak to each other at all. He went on to date other women and after a couple of years, we were able to become good friends. I even helped him find a new wife. When women pine and hurt over men and chase them in any way....the man feels more secure because you're proving that you still want him. You need to leave him alone. Don't contact him. Remember the old saying....if you love someone, let them go, if they come back, they're yours, if they don't....they never were. Your person is out there. You just have to be patient enough to wait for the right one.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:24 PM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!