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I Need to Move Out
Feb 24, 2018
I'm in my last year of high school, but am securely going on to study for a Bachelors of teaching. I have my own car, I have savings and I have inheritance savings for schooling. But I am not allowed to get a job. My Dad will not let me apply for jobs because he says I don't need it because he gives me allowance each week. If I don't spend it then he won't give me more the next week etc. This gets me anxious as I never have accumulated money, so I never get a sense of being in control of my money. I wish I had the freedom to earn my money and save or spend as I choose.
My parents won't let me go out after school or on a Sunday evening because it's a school night. I have never betrayed their trust and have always gone home by 10, which is the curfew of my license. I am not allowed to go to the shops or the beach because they think I will go see my boyfriend. I'm only allowed to see him on a Saturday despite living a 2 minute drive away. I am not allowed WiFi on my phone after ten.
My dad also reads my texts and tracks my phone when I go anywhere. I feel so trapped and knowing that next year I'll be studying and working, I feel like it's impossible to get there from where I am now.
I get so sad. My friends think I'm being a doormat by being treated like this by my Dad but if I argue or yell back then my 'conditions' of living here changes.
One week me and my boyfriend had a fight and my dad took my phone and hid it for 4 days. I wasn't allowed to message him to apologise or vice versa. Other times, without reason, my dad has blocked his number or my friends numbers from my phone, so I'll be texting them and get no reply for days. This obviously really gets me anxious.
My dad has done horrible assaults to me as a preteen and early teen and I don't ever feel completely safe here.
I want to move out so badly but when I say I'd like to I get laughed at and yelled at because I'm supposed to 'love living here because it's not dysfunctional'.
When I tell my counsellor she doesn't really listen. When I tell my friends or boyfriend they tell me I need to stick up for myself. I know I'll get worse punishment if I rebel.
My dad controls my bank account and how much money I have at all times. He has my savings and my schooling savings. I'm so scared he'll do something if I rebel but I feel so absolutely stuck and helpless. It's really been contributing to my depression and I just want freedom. I know moving out and flatting is hard and work is hard and studying is hard but I need to learn about that stuff and I want to have that independence. I really need advice on what to do. Please





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