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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi there. I have allot of things which come to mind after reading this but the first and most important are two things:

You dont get involved with someone after a need to work on yourself first and get over your marriage...there is NO WAY that you can give someone love and commitment when you are in that "head space".

Second, you dont fall in love with someone in 4 months. You are barely just getting to know someone in that time. This was a rebound relationship, which is fine to have...but it is not love.

During those 4 months while you were getting to know this girl, you learned quite a few things....a. she is not respecting your boundaries B. she is sleep with someone to get back at you is not a very nice thing to do. and C. this isnt someone you want in your life long term.

Take what you leaned and move on. Write her off like a bad was HER loss that she screwed up the relationship...but honestly, you are not ready for one. Until you can respect yourself enough to realize that this is a terrible way to be treated and you are worth more than this- you have no business being in a relationship with anyone. Certainly not someone who treats you badly. (and she did.)

Give yourself time to heal both from your marriage and this mistake...go out in groups or with the guys.....forget love for awhile and try to make friends. Remember, you dont know someone in 4 usually takes a year or so of being around someone to see their true colors. In that time you will either like what you see or see warning signs, but until you give yourself that amount of time, leave love out of it.

You both made big mistakes in this one....but this isnt fixable. If she treated you like this once, it will happen again. Count on that. But, its not entirely her need to feel good about you and be responsible for your own actions. Once you get yourself straight approach the next woman in your life carefully...if she is worth it, taking the time to learn that will be your best bet!
Good luck..

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