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This is an extremely long story so I will try to make it as short as possible and add additional details after if needed to clarify anything.

I have been with my partner for almost 10 years. We are both in our mid 30s. We moved to another country about 6 years ago for his career. He agreed to support me fully financially as I can not have a job in this country. I do some work online part time, but I don't earn enough to support myself. We have two pets together.

We recently had some trouble with renewing my visa to stay in this country. For me to be able to stay living here we had to do a lot of traveling over the past year to meet the requirements of my application. My partner's company even let us use their team of lawyers to help my case. We were also put up in a hotel for almost a year all on my partner's company expenses. They really wanted him to stay working for this company and so they offered their assistance in my case. This cost a lot of money both on our part and my partner's company money.

I finally received my residency in this country after a long fight and a lot of stress. The decision was made that I could stay here as my partner supports me financially and we are basically the equivalent of common law spouses. He owns a condo here which we both have lived in for the past 5 years.

The day I received my residence card my partner texted me that he wants to end the relationship. He stayed at the apartment and started going out with friends until 7am and leaving me at home. During this time my mother back home was also diagnosed with cancer. It kind of all blew over and we spent Christmas together as a couple. He told me that he never broke up with me. On New Years he told me that he wanted us to have a much happier year this year.

A week after New Years he TEXTED me, "Good morning. Can we talk? Unfortunately I don't feel any different. You know what this is about".

I felt sick all day. He finally came home and he just told me that he will be leaving our condo. He refused to have any kind of conversation with me and began screaming when I asked him any questions. He told me he never loved me, not even at the beginning of our relationship. We had a very loving relationship so I really can't believe him when he says this.

I calmly told my partner that I think we need to talk to a counsellor. He then texted a friend to come over against my wishes. I was so embarrassed. Our friend (Male) came over and my partner was saying how he never loved me and our relationship was always fake. My partner said I can just get a job here and be fine, no big deal (This is clearly not the case).

He told my friend that for 10 years I made him stay with me. He told our friend many other lies about me and gave him a huge sob story about how terrible I am. He then had a complete tantrum in front of our friend with crying etc. My partner also disclosed extremely personal information about our relationship to our friend. I was very uncomfortable with this and struggled to defend myself during this time. I was mortified.

The friend told my partner that he should talk to a therapist. My partner got extremely offended at this. I finally had enough and told my partner that I would be contacting legal representation if he left and that I have rights to our condo too. My partner stormed away and said he'd never speak to me again screaming obscenities at me. He kept yelling, "You're not my wife"! The friend said that my partner could stay with him. The friend lives just around the corner from our condo.

A few days later my partner came over with the friend to collect his belongings. I tried to leave him alone during this time to give him some space and hopefully thought he could reflect on this situation and what he was doing. I have since heard from him a couple more times over almost three weeks. He came over to pick up something of his and then he came over to give me a credit card because one of our pets had an emergency vet visit. I am very lucky that he did that. He has cancelled all of his credit cards that he let me use to purchase things I need for the pets and me.

He does not seem to get the severity of the situation and doesn't seem remorseful at all. He tells me this is just a simple break up and everyone breaks up. I feel betrayed and extremely confused. This was my best friend of 10 years and I trusted him. He has just abandoned me with no explanation overseas. I am not able to go back to the USA as I have a very complicated relationship with my family. If I go back I will need thousands of dollars to do so which I don't have since he cut me off.

He blocked me on all social media(even though I have not tried to contact him or beg for him back), but contacts me when absolutely necessary. He will not discuss the relationship or what I should do now that he left. He doesn't even seem like he cares what happens to me which is shocking considering how close of a relationship we had. I don't know why he would be so cruel. It's like he's acting like we were never together and he treats me with indifference.

I am thinking about hiring a lawyer, but I was hoping that something would give before I make such a huge decision. This behaviour is very unlike him...which brings me to the next thing. I have suspected for years that he may have an undiagnosed personality disorder, possibly bipolar or something similar. There are many patterns I've noticed in his behaviour for several years and I am concerned. He also told me things like, the "Brett" I know is never coming back, etc.

I tried to explain this to the friend my partner is staying with. The friend said he'll keep an eye on my partner, but I don't think he really took me seriously. I tried calling an anonymous helpline in the country I'm in, but they weren't able to offer me much helpful advice.

He has a very prestigious career and is well respected in his field. I feel that for this reason no one believes my side of the story. All of our mutual friends have cut me off because they think I have been terrible to my partner.

I'm trying to think about if I should go to a psychologist if they could help me possibly. I feel I am in a dire situation and I really don't know what to do. I wake up everyday thinking I'm in a nightmare. I'm also really worried about my partner. This is not the person that I know. There is so much more to this story, but all the details would make it too long. Please feel free to ask me any more and I can clarify things further. Thank you so much if you got through my whole post.





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