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[QUOTE=untrustingbride]I was just married one month ago after dating my husband for 2 1/2 years. During that time I caught him kissing (not a friendly kiss, mind you) one of my best friends (at the time) while I was on my way to the bathroom while the 3 of us were at a bar. He begged my forgiveness and we were engaged about a month later. I had a gut instinct about our neighbors' girlfriend from a year before that when they moved in. I confronted her alone soon after my engagementand she admitted that he had hit on her the summer before that!!! Nothing physical transpired, but I was SO hurt I threw the ring at him...I wasn't even over what he had JUST done to me!!! I have caught him during those 2 1/2 years scanning porn sites, renting Playboy movies when I'm not around, and looking through magazines at other women. Now we are married and that all is over 6 months in the past. He gets annoyed with me because my trust is not NEARLY all the way back, even though he has made significant lifestyle changes-no magazines, Animal Planet substituted for MTV, no porn sites, but I freaked out at him the other night for looking through my Victoria Secret catalogue. I just CAN"T TAKE him having ANYTHING to do with wanting or staring at other women!!!!!! Why can't I BE ENOUGH FOR HIM??????I am a Christian, and I want to forgive, but why is it soooooo hard? It rips me up inside - I feel imprisoned and HE says he feels like a convicted felon.......Can anyone help me???! I want a healthy marriage, but he wants my trust....I just don't feel ready.[/QUOTE]





Hello, I just read this and thought I'd reply.
I been married for 10 years. with my hubby for 13 years. I met him when we were in High school so We do have our share of problems too.
First of all I think u went through soo much 'trama" with him b4 you got married so I totally understand why you can't trust him. once the trust is gone, you can't believe anything that person says.
Since you didn't have the chance to go counselling b4 you got married, why not go alone now?
I'm going through trust issues with my husband now. He lies about little things that bugs me.
I am going counselling with my husband and again I am going alone.
By the way, I do think most men look at porn. They like the pix..
I used to think why would u look at that if you have me?
But I got over it since it's not a problem. so once in a while I don't care. I tell him u wish u can have her..hahaha I make a joke out of it. I guess I'm open when it comes to that.
But U went through sooo much in the past so your thoughts are Him looking or looking at porn makes u think about the things he did to you. it's like a flash back.
I don't like the way he said he was going through stress and all that that's why he did the things he did.What's going to happen when he's all stressed again? IF you seek counselling, I'm sure you will learn alot about yourself and your relatioship, so IF, just IF something like this happens again u will not take this anymore.
I am working on that myself.
I hate feeling paranoid or fear..
I want to be a strong woman who's not going to take anyless.
And also He needs to go counseling too.
Good luck!
Emi





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