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Relationship Health Message Board

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wow- you sound very frustrated with this whole situation- has your boyfriend ever given you any reason (other than he used to be with her) to worry this much about her and him?

I too am a very jealous person---which drives me crazy. I understand where you are coming from---I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and his ex (of 3 years) comes into town to visit from time to time---the best part about all of this is that she first asked to stay with him and now that she knows that is not an option anymore she stays with his best friend. They are still friends and even talk and email from time to time-----Which as you can imagine drives me nuts!

I started off being the cute fun girlfriend---everything was fine with me(not really though).. the 2nd trip I was at his side from the time she got there until the time she left (like I needed to prove he was mine)...the 3rd time I finally went off on my boyfriend....I told him that I had issues with it. I told him exactly how I was feeling what I was questioning and what I needed to know from him.

I think he just never realized that it bothered me as much as it did. that led intoa great conversation about how he really no longer sees her the same way---that he is so happy with me--and that he wants me in his life.

I mean sure I still get a bit frustrated when i hear her name or see it on emails....but I know that he wants to be with me now....there is no reason to compete with her anymore. Sounds like you are in the same boat. Accepting that the person we care about has been with someone else intimately is never any easy thing to do----it is almost better off to think that he is starting fresh with you and the future that you build together is not based on what he and she had---bc apparently that was not working---so make your own future with him and do not waste any time thinking about the past!

Good luck---

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