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Relationship Health Message Board

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An ex-boyfriend of mine (not my most recent relationship) sent me an e-mail asking me how I was doing and what I've been up to. This guy sends me periodic e-mails now and then but I have never responded. There is a reason. He basically treated me very poorly when we were going out (on and off for about 2 years). He was my first real boyfriend and being naive and young, I let him do terrible things to me and I continued seeing him, even at times blaming myself for his behavior.

Some of the rotten things he did include: doing inappropriate things with other women (not full-fledged cheating but still very wrong and improper) and then not telling me for months until I confronted him, screening his calls and not answering mine, rarely visiting me, making excuses for not seeing me, even on my birthday, and probably one of the most hurtful things of all...not coming to my college graduation when he had a ticket and an earnest, whole-hearted invitation from me. He even said he would be there.

Still, I never told him off about all the crappy things he did to me. I simply stopped talking to him and ceased all interaction. Not coming to my graduation was the final straw. I moved on, basically. But he has been for the last three years giving me an occasional call at work, or e-mailing me. Lately, it's been the e-mails, to which I have not responded. In this latest e-mail, he even had the nerve to ask if I was married yet!

My question is whether I should respond to this latest e-mail. He has never, not once, apologized for all the pain he put me through. I doubt whether he even knows the severity of the sadness I endured while with him. If I were to respond, this would be my chance to really just get things off my chest, things that I guess I should have said to him long ago - like do you know how badly you hurt me? There is a reason why I haven't kept in contact with you. I don't want you in my life - once was enough. Please don't ever e-mail me or try to contact me again. - so, basically, I'd write things like that.

There is no chance ever that I will get back together with him. I don't even want to be his friend. Do you think I should e-mail him back and tell him the things that I have never told him before - essentially, get things off my chest? Any advice would be appreciated.

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