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Relationship Health Message Board

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You sound like one of these people that always has to have a boyfriend. I have a friend that was once like that and I dated a guy that was once like that. Girl, you need to realize that you are great being you and you don't need a guy to vilify yourself. You sound like you have self-esteem issues.

You need to be choosy about the men you date. You just got out of a 4 1/2 yr. relationship that involved drugs and your talking about a guy you are dating and not he broke up with you and then the guy at work - you guys are messing around. On top of all that you're depressed enough to be taking pills.

Your problem is you don't think highly of yourself and until you start thinking that you are something you are going to be in this vicious cycle. You are 22, you need to have fun. You said you made friends with the guy at work, you need to make an effort to make friends with girls because you can't be "just friends" with a guy.

This is just my opinion, do what you want with it. But you need to change how you feel about yourself.

Goodluck with the new job prospective - maybe that will be your turning point!!

**Oh and about the guy at work. He's a piece of crap. If he would cheat on his current girlfriend then don't think for a minute that he wouldn't cheat on you! Leave him in your dust and don't look back!!!!

Keep me informed how your doing.
[QUOTE=Oblio] i can honestly say i dont know how to be myself without a guy, because "myself" has always been in a relationship and i just identified with who-ever i was dating at that time. and yes, i know thats really sad and i need to learn to be alone and who i am.[/QUOTE]

It is sad because you are probably a great wonderful person and you and the people around you will never know that. That was part of my point - you need to find out who you are without a guy. Find out what YOU like to do, places YOU like to go, what do you like to read, You, YOU, YOU, etc. It's all about you!

About the girl friend part. Again you need to make an effort to make friends with women. I don't know how long ago the whole "my best friend and boyfriend had sex" thing was but it sounds like jr. high or maybe even high school. Put it behind you. I've been there - on both sides - just like you have been and are now. You are doing w/your co-worker what your best friend did to you all those years back. You may not be best friends with your co-worker's girlfriend but you are "the other woman" nonetheless - it's going to hurt her just like it hurt you. Just because some people disappoint you doesn't mean the whole world of women will disappoint you. Believe it or not there are women out there who are not like that. Life is full of disappointments but it's also full of joy, happiness, fun, laughter.

Be 22. You have plenty of time for a boyfriend. I'm not saying having a boyfriend is bad b/c it's not. You just don't know how to pick them b/c you take the first one who comes along and pays attention to you. You are a woman and you have the power to pick and choose. Be picky! There are guys out there who fit your "knight in shining armor" fantasy. You just have to be patient.

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