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Relationship Health Message Board


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Debra Noel,
I know the frustration of wanting independence and having parent(s) act like you're not the adult that you are. I'm 27 and am struggling with the same thing. During your time of anxiety when you didn't mind talking with your mom a lot, did you have this boyfriend then? I'm wondering if you had gotten a boyfriend recently and your mother is maybe having a hard time dealing with letting go and having you to herself in a way? If that isn't the case, she's probably taking it personally that you don't want to talk as often. I'm sure she got used to talking a lot and liked it. Be sure to let her know that it's not that you don't want to talk to her, but that you have other things going on and just can't talk as much, "nothing personal".

I think the idea of e-mailing your mom every so often might work, as long as she doesn't start expecting e-mails AND phone calls all the time. An idea might be to do something nice for her out of the blue, like sending her a card in the mail, something to show you care. That way she'll know you care about her, even if you don't talk as much as before. Maybe even flowers. That should make an impression on her and it might even be good timing to have a talk with her about everything at the same time. I hope things get better. Good luck!





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