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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I went out with this guy for 4 years and he was, and I'm pretty sure still is, my true love. My senior year of high school and then 3 years of college. He was a year younger and ended up at the same college as I did. I always had a crush on him so when we started going out it was great. And it was great all throughout our 4 years. But then towards the end it was apparent that each of us needed to figure things out for ourselves because we had never known anyone else like this and we were still young. I was the one that actually said we need to take a break. Well then p.s. long story short we each went off and dated other people. We keep in touch regularly and we hang out platonically. But he always falls in love with people he dates and the girls are not that great (one was a drug addict, one went into a mental institution, and one stole money from him) while I can't find anyone I would even want to have a second date with. In the between times when each of us is single we hang out more and we start getting physical. I think that maybe we're getting back together and then blamo, he starts seeing other girls. And let me clarify by saying is that he is the most kind hearted person who always sees the good in people, hence some of the girls he dates. He doesn't party or drink at all. But like right now he started seeing this other girl and he says he still loves me and cares about me and I'm one of his best friends. Most recently he couldn't find a decent job with benefits so I helped get him a job in my office. So now I have to see the person who every time I see him want to cry. Am I a total idiot? I did what I knew was right as a friend who cares about his wellfare but threw my emotions right into a tizzy. He is the only person who ever gets me like this. Should I just never talk to him? He is one of the people I count on when things go wrong, like my dad is seriously ill he is always there to help me with that when I'm about to loose it. Any suggestions? Cause I'm a mess. I don't want to loose him as a friend but I also have stay sane. And now I'm going to be stuck working with him.
My best friend and I do meet each other's new flames. He asks my opinion and I ask his. It's been longer since he and I have dated though. He gets jealous sometimes because I don't show him the same amount of attention, but generally he's like a protective older brother and tends to have a little "talk" with my new man about not hurting me. It's almost cute because my own family has never screened anyone I've dated.

I do the same for him, but we are not so much in love that this bothers us. What is comforting to both of us is that NOONE can replace the bond that we have. The new girl doesn't have what you can't have. You actually hold more cards than you think. It's her that should be jealous of you because she will come and go and you'll still be in his life.

Plenty of my best friend's ex's have confided in me that they were insecure about our relationship because we had a closeness that they never achieved.

Let me know how things go. Just remember if you can stay friends thru all of these changes you will have something truely special.





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