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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hey everyone, (sorry this is long, please read!)

I've been dating my current boyfriend for a little over a year now, and as far as relationships go, ours is fantastic (apart from a few mother issues I've discussed in another post). He's a little older than me - I'm almost 20 and he's 25, but no two people could get along better. He's adorably caring, and both of us enjoy similar interests and share the same sense of humour.

This problem is to do with my (former?) best friend. Both her and I have known my bf for a few years before we began dating (she's never ever had any prolonged interest in him, maybe just a passing whim now and then, don't really know) and she was clearly a little surprised when we got together and started going out.
Since then, and progressively as time goes on, she's been SO hard to get along with. This saddens me, as we used to have a great friendship, but now she gets extremely bitchy and hostile over little things towards me, and is SO defensive about everything. We've always been competative, which is something I hate but is evident in everything we do. I concluded that she just felt left out, as any girl does when her best friend finds a bf, so I practically knocked myself out trying to spend time with her and make her happy, like 'old times'. But even if I'd get through to her on one or two occasions and things would be going well, the next day she'd suddenly be moody and hostile again. I try not to even mention my boyfriend when I'm around her - I've even found myself slagging my bf off a little bit to her, in an effort to make her feel as if I'm on 'her side'. I HATE that. I love my man and feel horrible saying anything negative about him. :(

Recently, my friend has started dating this other guy we have known for ages. She has shown no prior interest in him, and sometimes I wonder whether her main motivation for going out with him is to 'beat' me or have something else to 'do'. She seems determined to make it work with him now, she tries to spend ALL her time with him and virtually ignores all my msgs and calls.
BUT...and this doesn't seem to fit with everything else...when I have a problem with my bf, and confide in her about it, she generally tries to help. We almost broke up once, and I was so devastated that I didn't move from her couch. She helped me then, even rang my bf to see what was going on. Yet a week after we were back together, bang, she's cold and moody again.
Am I to be blamed for her hostility? Is there a way to salvage our friendship? I feel as if she's just drifting further and further from me, and with this new guy of hers she'll probably be even harder to reach. I work with her, so its gonna be horrible if we begin to dislike eachother. Please help and comment! :eek:

Tyger.





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