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Re: Cheating
Dec 4, 2003
I think it's possible to love more then 1 person at the same time... but I don't think it can be the same kind of love. If you are IN love with someone, it's different then just loving them & caring about them. It's more deep then that & special, I don't believe that if you are TRUELY IN LOVE with someone you would ever want to put yourself in the situation that you have. If you were in love with your husband, then you wouldn't have cheated on him in my opinion b/c you wouldn't have wanted to hurt him - even if he never knew what was going on, b/c like you said "he would die if he found out". Personally, I think cheating is wrong, period. I am not going to lie... I have cheated - but I know that I was wrong. Thing is, I was in a similar situation as you! This is what happened:

When we were 16, my BF & I met thru friends & started dating... we were totally in love & we were also best friends. About 3 months later, after talking about it a bit & making sure we were ready, we both had sex for the first time. It was so special to use that we lost our virginity to each other! We stayed together for about a year & 1/2 before things started to get pretty bad, fighting a lot & so on. He started seeing another girl pretty much right away, so I started seeing some other guy. I was with that guy for a little less then a year & 1/2 when me & my ex started talking again. We hung out 1 night with a bunch of our friends after a Christmas party, talked a lot - but didn't do anything physical except for hug. A few weeks later he ended up coming over my house to help me out with something & that's when it happened. We couldn't help ourselves b/c we were still in love with each other - as we had been since the day we met. We just needed that time apart & to expierience new things to realize that it WAS true love! Needless to say, I did feel bad about what I had done, but I was not in love with him & I knew that I didn't want to be with him forever... so I didn't continue to lie to the other guy - I broke it off with him & that was the only time I ever cheated. I am glad to be back with my true love & happy to know that we knew all along what it really was. You know, plenty of people told us it was "puppy love" & all that b/c we were so young when we first met - but we proved them wrong eventually!

If you think you are in love with the other guy you are sleeping with, why don't you just let your husband go? You are already lying to him - so why not just spare him the heartache by not going into the details... just tell him that you aren't totally happy with him anymore, you don't have to tell him there is someone else! But, as I am sure you probably know, the longer you let this go on, the more chance there is of him or someone else that could tell him finding out your secret. Not only that, but it must be eating you up inside. Why do you want to do that to yourself? Is it really worth it? You know that a lot of people could be hurt by this if it was discovered, so do what you think is the right thing.

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