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okay, I never read any other replies, so I hope this comes out right and makes sense to what you are asking...
I love myself. I really do. And you know what? The only people I get slack from is my family. It's like they are jealous that I feel this way. The comments they say about me loving everything..."who brainwashed you?, if you love yourself so much how can you be that fat?, you will never date someone because you are so fat and your confidence is way too high"
I mean, we all all know thats complete bull*hit, but if they want to say things like that to make themselves feel better, fine. They have to believe that since they don't have everything going for them, no one should. Self-affirmation theory says a person must always affirm who they are, whether its bad or good. They want to see the true quality of themsleves (again, good or bad) and must affirm that through their relationships with people around them. They need to know everyone suffers (or in my case, is happy) as much as they supposedly do.
I don't know what I used to be like...but I woke up one day, and instantly reevaluted my life. What the hell was there to be so unhappy about? If something happens, its for a reason, it will lead to a different road, a new road, exciting, happiness or dreadfully tragic. But each road is new. Its yours. You do what you want with it. Every day I wake up and think OH boy I love this day! (I am this cheesy in real life) So much to do and think and clean. It's like I have an internal mechanism that processes everything is great. And at first, I had to force myself to think that way. I would look at my messy room. I would think ah crap...wait, no, after its clean, it will look great and I can light some candles and read and breathe peacefully! So I suppose I started looking at the goal instead of the work towards the goal. I take every minute as a goal. I love every minute of everything. I mean yes, there is ALOT of sad terrible things in my life (I have cancer, I miss lots of school, my mom is very ill these day, I don't have a boyfriend, I live with a very very hurtful mean sister, and most of my best friends live hours away). If you just keep looking at that, there is no way you'll be able to function happily. I look at those things and think ah, what can I do about them? Not much. So therefore, I have to make bad situations bright. When your family says things like "don't eat that, you need to lose weight", you look at them with a big smile and say what you feel "bah, who are you to tell me? I know! I am huge! I can't believe I can sit on this chair and not break it!" and if you smile and laugh, I mean, truly, feel good, not spiteful, they will be so confused...I mean, that was a ridiculous thing to say! But what they said was too! It is GREAT to see people that hurt you so bewildered. When someone at work doesn't like what you did, say something like "well, different strokes for different folks!" and leave it at that. With a smile. Be GLAD you are so different! Why would you want to be cruel and hurtful like them? They have no idea who you truly are. And thank god! They might want to be like you and stalk you! ;) You gotta think you're the best. Because you TRULY are. There is NO ONE like you. YOU are the most PERFECT you. No one else is better. If you want to be happy, makes things happy. Do things that you love doing, I LOVE giving presents to people. I make things, bake things, buy things...people can't help but love you! ;) Just wait, it gets better...soon, instead of seeing you how they did, they will see this eternally cheerful, lover, giver, natural woman. These people will feed off of you, they will want to know your secret, they will be so obviously jealous you will feel the need to giggle at their ridiculousness. And be free of those rotten thoughts...you are yourself, so be yourself. No one will blame or make fun of you for being and loving you.
I know my post is super long, I really want people to be happy with themselves. I smile every day at the comments I get...recently I was told that if there were one out of a hundred women like me, the world would be a truly happy place. I laughed and blushed and he just said, no, I am NOT kidding. Always remember that. How can I not feel good about myself when I get comments like that??!! Ten years ago take happy and put mean, angry and depressed there...
Please let me help you.
What don't you like about yourself?





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