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Sorry this is long.
I am a single mom of a young teen. I moved to a new job in a new state earlier this year. I love it in my new living situation, and I met a great guy three months ago. We have really fallen in love, and think we might have a long term future together. Our relationship is different in that he is 12 years younger than me.
My older sister came out for a week to visit me a few months ago. She wanted to see how my new life was going. My sister and I live far apart, but we have a special bond and get along great. Within a few days of meeting my BF, she was openly cold to him, which is really not like her. I tried my best just focus on sister-time together because of this. She also has been going through a lot of difficulty with getting older, kind of a mid-life crisis. Our roles have definately changed in the last year. I have always been the plain, conservative, reliable sister. My sister has been the wild, adventurous, party girl. Well, she quit drinking last year, and has mellowed out a lot and been much more introspective, which I like. I , on the other hand; have came out of my shell, and have taken more of a "fly by the seat of my pants" attitude.
Well, the other day I get a letter from her. She wrote that she didn't want to upset or alienate me from her life, but she wanted me to know that she had a really, really bad feeling about my BF. I guess this feeling has been eating away at her, and she felt she needed to tell me. She said that my BF was too attached with me too soon, and she was afraid he might stalk me if I broke up with him. She also said that she felt very uncomfortable with my BF being around my daughter, and that I should never allow him to be with her alone. Well, I'm obviously upset over her saying these things. I felt accused of not being a good mother and allowing some psycho in my life. I asked my daughter if she ever felt uncomfortable in my BF presence. She laughed, and said , " no, he's the coolest guy you've ever gone out with. Why?" I didn't sense my daughter holding anything back, or hiding anything from me. My BF does act silly and young, but I really can't see where accusations of this seriousness came from.
I called my bestfriend back home ( that has never met my BF) and she advised me to never under estimate the power of a woman's gut-instinct. That those feelings are usually right. Now I'm even more confused.
My sister never used to, but has seemed very paranoid as of late. Our mother is mentally ill, and is very paranoid. I'm hoping this problem isn't starting with my sister.
Any thoughts on how I should react to this situation? This could make family get-togethers, at best, strained between us. Half of me is angry, the other half very confused. This isn't like her at all. I don't want to shun my sister from my life, I love her. But, I don't know what to say to her at this point.





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