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Thanks Jenna. The first time we dated we only lasted about 3 weeks, so it wasn't that serious at all. He and I are both the sought after in our group of people. The unattainable I guess you might say.

I do want to be in a relationship though. I guess I've always taken what was offered in the past. I was comfortable knowing the man's feelings upfront. I've never gone after someone I wanted that I wasn't sure wanted me back.

To use the term loosely we are both "players". Not because I cheat but because I find fault in most relationships and tend to break it off when I see danger ahead. Trust me I have had plenty of reason to leave and I treat anyone I am in a relationship with like gold. But most people only see me as unattainable, because I don't get too close.

I have many male friends and I feel more comfortable with handsome male friends, than boyfriends or lovers. I'm starting to think that maybe I am possibly giving the friend signal to my boyfriend. Because now I'm not even sure he still is my boyfriend.

I'm wondering if I should just ask him if we can go back to being just friends. We flirted alot more, laughed and it didn't seem so serious. Maybe I'm just scared that he doesn't like me like that.

I ususally don't put too much thought into my looks, but now I'm conscience of everything. I want to fix my outward appearance and that's nothing that I felt I needed to do before.

So I guess the question I should be asking is, should I just tell him that we are better off as friends?
Don't change your looks. When the person I mentioned earlier began to give me mixed signals, I had my hair highlighted, got really tan, lost 12 pounds, and had my bellybutton pierced. I'm sure this made no difference since he was most interested in me when my hair was dark, I was ten pounds overweight, and not exactly dressing up for work. The only thing it did was make me feel better about myself...I could look at myself in the mirror and say to myself--what a dummy! I'm HOT!!! Just be yourself and don't change a thing. You were sufficient for him initially, you should be sufficient now.

I told my ex that I wanted to be friends. I did that rather than ask him what his feelings for me were. I just assumed from his mixed messages and my suspicions, that they were not mutual, and I did it this way because I was afraid of hearing his rejection outright. In hindsight, I do wish that I'd asked him about his feelings. I made a lot of assumptions. To this day, I do not really know which were correct, or which incorrect.

I would communicate with him and ask him point blank what his feelings are. However, if he is one of those who is vague or will say encouraging things and not back them up, I would'nt bother. You will end up being strung along. I'm a firm believer in the guy courting the girl, not the other way around.

jenna
He's the vague type or the insincere type that always keeps you guessing. Yeah, I hear you on that one Jenna. I think that he should be courting me, I refuse to chase guys. It sucks.

The last guy I chased was the love of my life, although he didn't feel the same about me. lol He acted like everything was my fault because I assumed too much, but when I was there pouring my feelings out to him, he didn't so much as blink.

I really wouldn't want to get into a situation like that again. So maybe I will talk to my "boyfriend" today and we are close enough friends to where I think I can have a conversation about all this. I think I will just tell him that I've been feeling like he doesn't want to be in this anymore, and if not, I want him to be honest so we can go back to being friends. Is that too forward?





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