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Alright guys, I really need to know...do guys really remain friends with their ex-girlfriends for friendship only???? And I don't mean, "I'll remain friends with her until she decides to get back with me." I mean, "I'll remain friends with her because I JUST want to be friends...and nothing more!!"

I don't want to be a cynic or to trash you boys, but seriously! I feel like all the guys that consistently talk to me only because they like me. I can't really think of one guy that talks to me just because he wants to talk to me. Well, one, but he's different, he's a really, really old childhood friend of mine.

Now, here's my issue, my ex still talks to me all the time. He still talks about spending time together. No, he doesn't say that we should go out on a date or whatever, but just to hang out. He would say things like, "I miss going to [insert place we went to] with you." It's NOT just these things, though. I don't want to get into a whole detailed story, but he just gives me this vibe like he still cares. Yet, I'm not sure...

I brought this up to my only real guy friend once and he thinks my ex wants to get back with me. And then, once when a girl friend of mine asked me about him, I told her what happens and her guy friend, who was sitting with us, says that the guy wants to get back with me, too. Then, another guy who likes me, but somehow we got to talking about my ex thought that it's weird that he still talks to me, because according to him "guys don't want to stay friends." Even my brother said that he only talks to girls he's interested in. (When I say talk, I don't mean the occasionally chatter with a girl. I mean: consistently looking for her and always trying to start a conversation with her. I know that guys talk to girls they don't like, because they have to in life, but they don't consistently seek out a girl to just talk, right?)

My really big question is: Do guys really just want to be friends after a relationship?? And how do you know whether your ex-boyfriend just want to be friends or want to get back together?

I just want to get that answered and I think I'll know what to do about him.
[QUOTE=jhart999]I had a basic plan of walking up to her and saying "Hi, we've never spoken ['cos we haven't] but I was wondering if you want to go out sometime?". My male friends think this approach is Ok. But the girls think I would come across as a cocky and arrogant like that and that I should somehow get to know her as a friend first.

I go to the gym regularly and I guess there are girls who I find attractive there but people rarely engage in conversation at the gym.

I think it is definitely time to find a new best friend. I will do it, I know.[/QUOTE]


Hey,

Love your last post. ;)

And about your opening line with the girl in your class....NOT recommended. Your girl friends are right. It's cocky and arrogant. It sounds good and smooth in the mind, but it's horrible to actually do it. Even if I'm totally interested in a boy and he comes up to me like that, I'd be totally turned off. As if he already expects me to say yes to his offer. I'd reject him just for spite! Your girl friends are right....just go up to her and say hi and maybe ask her whether she got the last lecture's notes. Sit next to her and pretend that you didn't catch what the professor said last or make fun of the professor. Kids always bond with professor jokes. haahaa. Easier said than done. I am useless when it comes to approaching guys, too. For that, I'm glad I'm a girl, because I'd never get the courage to ask girls out if I were a guy.

And yes, whoever said the gym is a great place to meet people??? All I do when I go to the gym is workout! And I only talk to my friends when I'm there. But the gym is always listed as a place to meet people. Not true for me so far. Maybe I'm hideous when I'm working out. haha. I doubt it, though. At least I hope not. :)

And I know you will find a new best friend, too. You will if you let yourself. If you really really try, you will get over your ex and find a new best friend and girlfriend. It's true that going out with other people helps tremendously!! It really accelerates the healing stage.

I am not seeing anyone now and I'm beginning to feel lonely again. I would really like to meet a guy, too. :confused: I hate it when this happens. I don't even have a crush! I don't have anyone to work on, so I'm left with my ex. Doesn't this suck?





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