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Well to start off me and my current girlfriend have been dating for 5 1/4 years. We really loved each other, but to the point. About 2 years ago, she cheated on me with my best friend, my best friend got her and her friend stoned when she cheated on me, and he took advantage of both of them. laterI for some stupid reason somewhat let it slide and we continued dating. My best friend died in a car accident about 3 months. Well about 6 months ago my girlfriend started hanging out with this guy from her work. He is a total dork, very anti-social around other people, suicidal, a complete geek, not a very smart one at that. Well my girlfriend constantly hangs out with him, they go to movies at random late at night, they play board games late night(because he gets off of work at 11pm). She is always constantly talking about him even tho I told her it bothers me. The other night she started one of those relationship talks that almost every guy all so hates. She asked me what I thought of us 2 and what I wanted to do. Well to me it seemed like she was asking to break up, but I told her I wanted to stay with her and that I dearly love her with all my heart, so she kept asking the same question and I kept telling her the same answer. And she told me that she kindda "likes" this guy, and she's always saying that she loves me.

Is this a plea for her to want to break up with me?
If not should I be overly worried that she is possibly cheating on me or wants to cheat on me?
What should I do?
Wow, I just don't have the strength to go into detail but here are some pointers:
WAKE UP kinda sounds like she could be depressed (hint, hangs out with a guy who is suicidal, spends the night with HIM playing games etc...) Buddy, buck up and look after the dear girl. She loves you? Lucky you. Doesn't sound like you are the most rounded person out there- describing a friend of your girlfriends' as a complete geek and a total dork...hmm, jealous, judgemental, complete lack of concern for her- ex. "my best friend got her stoned and took advantage of both her and her friend". then you say stupid you? this happened TWO years ago, and it was your freakin friend that in YOUR words, took ADVANTAGE of her.
And what the hell do you mean you "really loved each other- but to the point?" Loved as in the past kind of love? To the point of what? No return? What does to the point mean? I didn't know love had a limit or a point.
To end this, you picking your relationship apart- is it a cover up for the fact that you best friend died? Are you the one feeling weirded out here? If you don't express this, it could make her feel locked out from your thoughts and feelings, which also could have prompted the "relationship talk that all guys hate".
I think you need to look what is really going on here, are you jealous because this "geek" offers your girlfriend more than you can? Is your friends death making you moody/depressed/think differently? Is it possible that the thought of your friend is making you think more about the time your gf cheated on you with him, and in turn makes you think she would do it again? Do YOU really want this relationship? It really doesn't sound like you have a mature respectful relationship. The way you talk about love, the talk all guys hate, it sounds like you blame her for the cheat, but yet mention she was taken advantage of. Doesn't make sense to me.
blue
wow I am SOOO sorry that was definatly harsh blue!!! He was just explaining his feelings, maybe what you sai dwas true and a huge part of it could be true, but the fact is, maybe he is confused also just like she is confused, maybe that is why she is hanging out with that guy because she is suicidal, maybe you both need a break right now because are both going through a hard time right now, and the realtionship isn't the best for the both of you right now until everything becomes more stable. It seems like you do love her but has some trust issues with her, with you saying" she was taken advantage of, but she cheated on me" it kinda seems like ur debating which one was true and which one you wanted to believe more. Could it be you trusted your best friendb but he took advantage of her so you blamed her cheating on you because you didnt' want to blame your friend? or is it because you blamed it on your fiend because you didnt' want to put the blame on her, because she was the one that decided to get stoned? Maybe there is more going on then u know, id try to sit down and talk to her about thigns and let her know what your feeling inside, especially if there are trust issues going on.. It sounds like u are hurt and un trusting. so thats why you neeed to end it or talk to her about it and get your prioriities straight. I wish yo uall the luck!! keep us posted k? -chrystal :wave:
seems to me confusion is being mixed up with immaturity, after all she cheated on ya and is into this guy, time to move on and find a woman who is mature and respectful and wants to be with you, and i just find it wrong for her to be spending time with another guy,if she doesnt want to be with you she should do the right thing and end things and then go date someone else, seems like nobody has morals anymore
"Doesn't sound like you are the most rounded person out there- describing a friend of your girlfriends' as a complete geek and a total dork...hmm, jealous, judgemental, complete lack of concern for her"

Okay the guy is 21, has Star Wars bed sheets, obsesses about star wars, too me, that screams geek. Judgemental am I? Most definitely. Jealous, slightly for the fact that my girlfriend can barely stand not talking to him for like a freakin minute, she came over to my house, got on AIM and talked to him for like 3 hours. I almost nearly went insane! So I went out for a drive to cool off.

I put that we "really loved each other" because im not 100% sure if she still loves me the way I still love her. My friends death isnt a cover up, im neither moody or depressed, cant really say if I think differently or not, but I dont think I do. And when I think of my friend, I think back at the times we had not the cheating incident. The reason I blame her for the cheat, even tho she was taken advantage of is because, it was her choice to get stoned, I've been stoned many times before when I was young, and my thought process was no wheres nearly impaired enough for me to want to cheat on someone.

I do have trust issues with my girlfriend because she blatantly lied about what happened when she cheated on me, wasnt till like a month or so after my friend died that she told me the whole truth. How F'ed up is that? She's lied to me about numerous things where I ended up finding out the truth, and shed cover it up with things like "everyone has those kinds of feelings" well to me thats F'in BS because I dont get those feelings...

Reading your guys post, somewhat makes me realize thats its more likely more my fault, which actually suprises me. But I do guess I have some issues to resolve.





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