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Relationship Health Message Board


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I have been dating one of my ex boyfriends from three years ago. We were intimate back then for approximately one month and ended as friends. We've been associates and friends since then.

Last month I ran into him and it was a convienient time for us to get together. We were both lonely and we do care about each other and get along well. So we've been a commited couple for the past month. The first week it was mostly about sex, but now we are settling into a relationship. The only problem I have is that it feels like we are more friends than lovers. We haven't had sex in three weeks.

I love him as a person, but in a relationship he doesn't really try. He has alot going on right now and he calls me to help him out of jams (but I would do that for a friend). His family and living situation is awful, so I don't blame him and I think he may be going through some depression.

I don't want to walk away from him, but he doesn't even touch me, hold me or kiss me. I asked him if he was still attracted to me and he said yes, definately.
He doesn't have any problems healthwise to cause his lack of desire.

I don't know what to do. He's not the best boyfriend by far. He rarely works, doesn't have a car, is threatened every day that he is going to be thrown out of his step dad's house. I try to help him because I do love him. (not sure if it's the friend way or more but I don't want him in danger or to end up homeless).

There is another guy interested in me and since my boyfriend has shown no interest in seeing me since last Tuesday I spent a little time with this new guy. I know it's wrong of me, but I just played cupid with tow of my friends and I'm with them when this guy comes around. The new guy and I haven't done anything but touch. I love that he's a touchy / feely guy. Like massaging, tickling and gently tingling my arm or my neck. I know that's cheating too because of the intent, but I need that type of person in a relationship.

Just a few minor points about the new guy. He's 28 and has a 9 yr old sone that lives with him. (so he takes care of his kid). He has a car, job and his own place so I wouldn't be struggling to help him out.

So what do I do? I can't date both because the guyfriend I hooked up with my girlfreind knows my boyfriend and would tell his friend if he thought I still intended on not telling my boyfriend. (however the 2 guys don't know each other)

I don't want to disappoint my boyfriend or make things worse for him in his life. He is a really good friend. I am completely confused as to what to do in this situation. I'm tempted to tell him that there is someone else interested and if he feels that we are more friends than lovers than he should let me go. I know what he'll say though, what he thinks I want to hear that he wants to be with me and I will still be confused and might pass up something wonderful. Please help. I know this post was long!!!!





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